I have a love/hate relationship with fall television. On one hand, I get brand new episodes of my favorite shows, such as The Office and How I Met Your Mother. But then there are the new shows.
Come on. You know what I mean.
The new shows begin courting you. They show you promise, they seem interesting, and you begin sharing all of your free television time with them. And then, just as suddenly as they entered your life, they vanish. No explanations. No letter. They break up with you and don’t even have the common courtesy to do so face to face. No. They just stop appearing and you have to hear from somebody else why you’ll no longer be able to share your Tuesday nights together.
Last year, I decided to really date around. I was Justin Timberlake after dumping Cameron Diaz. Why decide between Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johansson when you can see both of them … among others?
And so, that’s what I did. I dated The Class, Kidnapped, Studio 60, Six Degrees, and The Nine. Oh, and I hooked up with the Knights of Prosperity. Wait. That didn’t come out right.
They were all short-lived relationships that ended all-too-abruptly. This, in turn, left me feeling wounded and afraid to enter into new fall relationships.
I’ve gone on a date with Reaper and Private Practice. I have a tentative meet and greet with Carpoolers and Pushing Daisies. And I’ve seen Chuck. Twice. Wait. Again, that isn’t coming out right.
I’m just afraid to commit, at this point. What’s to say they aren’t going to disappoint me like the others? Just as I sit down, dim the lights, and take my home-cooked dinner out of the oven, I’ll tune to ABC only to find out I’ve been stood up again. I don’t know if I can handle such continued rejection.
Tell me, good people. How have you managed to survive past television break-ups? Like Barry Manilow, are any of you ready to take a chance again … on a new show? If so, which ones do you think have the greatest potential for a long-lasting relationship?