1. What has been your strangest fan encounter?
John Lehr: I just took my daughter to Travel Town, which is a little park inside Griffith Park, and this guy just comes running up to me with his kid, saying how much he loved [10 Items or Less]. It really freaked me and my daughter out, because we didn’t know why he was coming.
2. You’re at a magazine rack and can pick three magazines. What are they?
I think I would pick Vogue, even though I don’t read it or anything. Just the amount of pages you get for your dollar — that thing’s like a tome, it’s like an encyclopedia. What would I pick if nobody saw me reading? All porn, for sure, and I think every man would agree with that. But if people are watching me, then I would pick Time and Newsweek and all of that.
3. What’s your favorite sports team?
The Kansas City Chiefs. I am from Kansas, and it is a heartbreaking team. It’s my kind of team because they’ve just lost forever. They last won the Super Bowl in ’70. I am a hardcore Chiefs fan, and therefore I am a very troubled, unhappy person.
4. When was the last time you were starstruck?
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant and at the urinal next to me was Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the starship Enterprise, and that was amazing. Patrick Stewart. He has a very strong urine stream. Very strong.
5. If your TV only carried three shows, which three would you want?
I have to go with 10 Items or Less, even though I’ve seen the show so many times before they air, I want to kill myself by the time they’re ready to go for broadcast. No. 2, The Daily Show. Love The Daily Show. And No. 3, anything on NFL Network.
6. When is the last time you felt like crying?
My daughter, I clipped her fingernails — she’s only a year and a half old — and I clipped her thumbnail and caught her thumb and cut my daughter. It #!@*ing killed me. It wasn’t a bad cut at all, but I’ve never cut her nails since. I’m totally chicken.
7. What’s your favorite condiment?
I’m going to go with horseradish. It’s really good. I don’t use it as often as I would like. But if it were around, if it were in an easy-squeeze bottle, I would use it.
8. What were the four General Mills Monster Cereals?
Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry … well, Quisp was a spaceman, but he had nothing to do with those guys. I give up.
[Fruit Brute is the Monster Cereal you’re missing. We would’ve also accepted Yummy Mummy, the fifth, unofficial Monster Cereal.]
Lehr stars in 10 Items or Less, returning for Season 2 Jan. 15 on TBS.
