by WindUpDoll
Ok, so I missed the first few minutes, and when I came in they were still freakin’ recapping. I’m assuming I either missed a cheesy group number, or the Katharine McPhee performance. I’ll probably catch it on YouTube.
Down to elimination — we’re doing 3 groups of 4. The first group is Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha. Well this group is uneventful, except for possibly Syesha. Safe, safe, safe and in the bottom 3. Ryan then does the ‘is this the wrong choice?’ question for the judges. Oh, now each of the last 3 sing. Wait, this thing is an hour? I would’ve taped American Idol if I’d know that. I probably didn’t miss anything in the first 8 minutes. Whew! I wonder if this is their way of giving singers who don’t get a lot of votes a bit more exposure to see if they just need more singing time. Please tell me they’re not going to do this all season.
Cheesy commercial — they’re doing Cake ‘Going The Distance.’ Cake. It’s an election spoof. You see very little of the Fords until the very end. Please tell me that means more people will listen to Cake, or that Cake got a boatload of money, otherwise it’s just not worth it. Then we have a cheesy package talking about how different the contestants’ lives are. They get to do photo shoots, movie premieres, meet Jim Carrey and Steve Carell. Yawn. Oh, that’s right, Ryan reminds me of the horror of the fan call-in aspect of this year’s show. This is going to be painful.
Next group, Ryan first tortures Chikezie by bringing him down & sending him back up. The rest of the group is Amanda, David Cook and Kristy. They are safe, safe and then Kristy asks for her microphone. Ryan asks how she knows she’s in the bottom 3. Kristy’s a smart girl. She’s in the bottom 3. That means we have to hear the country version of ‘8 Days A Week’ again. We get a scruffy Sanjaya sighting in the crowd. No fluffy mohawk, though.
So during commercial I decided to have a Learning Moment and look up who David Foster is. I learned that he’s a renowned keyboardist and accompanied John Lennon at one point. Hence, the tie-in. Crap, now we’re doing phone calls. We’ve got a 12-year-old up first. The 12-year-old asks Jason Castro which judge he would be. He gives a stoner answer where he turns into a morphed version of all 3. I bet that hybrid judge would look like a Blue Meanie. Then some dude calls in saying he’s auditioned 6 times and never gotten in, so what can he do next time? Simon tells him to get a different job.
John asks when Ryan & Simon are going to duke it out on stage. Ryan says ‘load in the mud, I’m ready.’ Then they skip a question, and unfortunately I don’t see the question. They go to a question for Simon about British vs. American singers. Simon says American singers are more talented, but British judges are more talented.
We then end that torture and get to hear Katharine McPhee sing ‘Something’ a George Harrison tune. Were they saving all of those for her ’cause they’re the best ones? She’s gone a little slutty with the dress. She does know she’s not competing now, right? She also makes the weird choice to pull her hair back with this huge monitor cord in her ear. She barely looks like she can be bothered to be there when she’s not actually singing. I’m wondering if her dress is a Rami Kashou because it has unnecessary draping in the back. If she had sung that last night, Simon would’ve called her boring. Oh, and apparently David Foster is going to be doing some blah, blah, blah on Access Hollywood. So their performance is a double-shill down.
For some reason Jim Carrey is going to go fetal where the contestants would be. Another Horton plug. Ryan then wants to ‘get serious.’ So the final 4 are David Archuleta. He’s safe. Then it’s Brooke. She’s safe. We’re down to David Hernandez and Ramiele Malubay. The results are bottom 3 and safe. So we get to hear David Hernandez sing again. Ryan brings Syesha and Kristy over to join David. We’ve got 10 minutes to kill, so Ryan’s got plenty of torture time.
He does the obligatory ‘Did America get it right’ question again. Paula’s never seen a more stronger bottom 3. Thank you, Paula. Simon thinks America got it spot on. Ryan spares Syesha first. Country fans saved Kristy. David Hernandez is out this week. It’s too bad, since Kristy’s version is so bad. We get a Ruben song to say goodbye to David Hernandez. We get a weird camera shot of the ceiling for no apparent reason. Bye, David. You slipped through the cracks.
What theme will next week bring to American Idol?