Posted by Ryan
Five contestants will slurp down wonton soup and dim sum and then ride the Megaloop, sort of a roller coaster that just goes in one big endless vertical loop.
Let’s meet the five guys who couldn’t cut it as carnies: Benjamin (“Dallas”), a filmmaker; Willis, an actor/producer; Jacobus, an acrobat whose dream job is being a hobo; Ryan, a waiter and aspiring tattoo artist; and Eddie, a dental assistant.
I’m pulling for Jacobus. We share the same career aspirations. The guys start soupin’ it up for five minutes. I’m a little surprised that more guys aren’t just gulping straight from the bowl. They’re wasting a lot of time with spoons. Ryan gets the first Hurl Warning!, but he recovers quickly … until he gives out a little squirt of soup that doesn’t even register on the Bucket meter. It counts as a hurl, and it’s the saddest, weakest hurl the series has seen yet. Ryan claims he has a “small stomach,” making him the perfect contestant for this show. He’s wasting everyone’s time! No soup for you!
As time runs out, Jacobus lets forth a violent gush of soup hurl into his bowl, and he is out. The hurl registers only 1 Bucket, but it was explosive, coming out of his nose and everything. Willis, Dallas and Eddie move on to five minutes in the Megaloop.
All three survive the Megaloop with little problem. Eddie sort of puts himself into a Zen trance for the ride, Willis talks to the camera to keep his mind off hurling and Dallas just sort of white-knuckles it all the way. Now it’s on to four minutes of dim sum (it’s organic!). And here’s a new twist on the show. Dim Sum Ladies are actually serving the contestants their dim sum, like they’re sitting down at a restaurant or something, and keeping track of how much each guy eats. I’ve never had it before, but dim sum are basically steamed or fried dumplings. But they’ve got a really nice spread. Sauces and everything. Eddie puts down the most, followed by Willis. Dallas is done.
It’s time for four more minutes of Megaloop. But it seems both our finalists have conquered the beast, and they survive without hurling. It’s on to more eating! Getting away from the Chinese food theme of the day, Willis and Eddie will eat a dozen jelly-filled donuts. (On a side note, they finally revealed why guys have to eat a lot in this round. If no one hurls after the next round of Megaloop, the winner is the guy who eats the most.) The crowd loves Eddie, and Jacobus is doing psych-out techniques on Willis from the sidelines. Dallas does one better and gags himself so he pukes on Willis, though we’ve seen this strategy (#52 The Trigger) in a previous episode. But it turns out that Willis just spit out water, a fake Trigger. It doesn’t work, and it’s back for more Megaloop, this time blindfolded.
Through six rounds, neither Eddie nor Willis hurl. But since Eddie ate the most, he wins. And the crowd goes wild.
Pretty weak episode. Not much hurling at all. This would’ve been a total wash if it weren’t for Jacobus, his great name and his great soupy spew.
