THE FEARFUL FIVE! #11

Continuing our monthlong celebration of Halloween with various scary movie and TV-related lists. Check out our online movie database at staytunedmag.com to see if any of these or other scary titles are on this month. (Note: Videos contain graphic violence, disturbing images and language.)

IT SLICES, IT DICES!
TOP 5 MOST SADISTIC SLASHERS

A large collection of violent deaths certainly isn’t strictly the domain of horror films — go watch Commando or Rambo II to see Arnie and Sly mow down bad guys by the dozens, if not hundreds. But the deaths found in “slasher films” tend to be so spectacularly horrific that they remain more memorable. And there are certain slashers who stand head and shoulders (and arms and legs and other body parts) above the rest. Here they are in order of body count, not necessarily by scare factor:

5. TIE: Leatherface, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies (original series); Daniel Robitaille (Candyman), Candyman movies

Approximate body count (each): Less than 20
Weapon of choice: Chainsaw (Leatherface); Hook hand (Candyman)

Although they’ve each racked up a relatively small body count (by slasher movie standards), Leatherface and Candyman remain two standout slashers, mainly for their creepiness. Leatherface, as his name implies, wears a grotesque mask made of human flesh, and pursues his victims with a relentlessness silence, aside from a few horrible, animalistic grunts. Candyman springs from the depths of imagination and urban legend, and is intelligent and verbose — almost seductive at times with his smooth voice — which perhaps makes him scarier and more dangerous:

4. Freddy Krueger, A Nightmare on Elm Street movies

Approximate body count: 40
Weapon of choice: Glove with knives for fingers

Considering he’s appeared in seven movies of his own, plus one in which he encounters Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees, it’s somewhat surprising that ghostly, dream-lurking child murderer Krueger hasn’t claimed more victims. Of course, he does seem to enjoy the psychological torture element perhaps a bit more, and he can at least claim a couple of somewhat higher profile victims than his counterparts, like Zsa Zsa Gabor and one of the singers from Dokken (I did say somewhat higher profile). But in the first movie he certainly engaged in some nightmarish kills:

3. The Tall Man, Phantasm movies

Approximate body count: 70
Weapon of choice: Flying silver balls with spikes and drills

While most other slashers seem unexplainably unkillable, at least we know a little about why this spooky mortician seems so indestructible, as he comes from another dimension and has gained psychic powers. Usually not on a maniacal rampage like some other killers, he is more intelligent than the others and quietly goes about his business of killing citizens from town to town to add to his collection of the dead:

2. Michael Myers, Halloween movies (original series)

Approximate body count: 75
Weapon of choice: Butcher knife

A regular Mozart of murder, Michael was a child prodigy when it came to slashing — at age 6, he stabbed his sister to death. After a 15-year hiatus in an insane asylum, he broke out to make up for lost time and free the world from all those boy-crazy babysitters while hanging out his shingle as a professional boogeyman.

1. Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th movies

Approximate body count: 150
Weapon of choice: Machete

The undisputed heavyweight champ of killing — mainly horny teenagers, but also an occasional cop, futuristic space traveler, New York gang banger, or anyone else who gets in his way — Jason has racked up this impressive number in nine films (remember, his mom did the killing in the first one, and in Part 5 a few others did most of the hacking), plus his co-starring role with Freddy Krueger. You must hand it to the guy. He found something he likes and is good at, and has really made a nice career out of it.