by Ruth Anne Boulet
We’re finally getting to the end of the American Idol audition process, and it’s none too soon because, is it just me, or has this season been a bit boring? Maybe it’s because I was expecting more of a shakeup in the format of the show than I actually got.
Tuesday we get rehashes of people we’ve met before. Which I suppose is a nice thing, since I can remember in seasons past being introduced to contestants in the first round, only to have them fall off the face of the earth during Hollywood week. This season we’re at least getting closure with these people, most of whom we won’t see again.
Paula has decided to protect herself with a big, shiny breastplate necklace. If it doesn’t protect her from physical damage, it may be used to blind her attackers.
It’s the usual audition week torture – split the performers up into 4 rooms. Three rooms will make it, and one room will be out. Contestants have to wait for hours, have various nervous breakdowns, relive all of their life choices over & over & over again, until we find out who’s in what bucket.
But, really, it doesn’t matter too much, because not all folks who get the ‘yes’ will actually make it to the show. We find out who actually makes it in on Wednesday. You know the episode. It’s where America watches people take an elevator over the course of an hour. Really, that’s it. Oh, except this year we’re in the ‘judge’s mansion.’ Uh, huh. I almost believe the 4 judges would want to spend that much time with each other.
One thing I will say about the folks that were let through — if I were a contestant, sang my heart out & remembered all my lyrics — I would be on a lunatic rampage if I didn’t get in and someone who did forget the lyrics did get to move on. I didn’t see any lunatic rampages, but looks like lyric forgetting was not a major strike against someone in this final round.
And now we’re at the Wednesday episode which for 2009 will not be known as the elevator episode. This time the contestants have to walk. Up stairs. American Idol cares about the cardiovascular health of its contestants. I can’t believe they’re stretching this thing out for 2 hours. No, wait, yes I can. This is the same show that stretches 30 seconds into 1 hour.
This is also the episode where we see a lot of people and say ‘who? Have I ever seen this person before?’ And then there are those put through where you’re like ‘they totally forgot their lyrics! Huh?’ Here are the highlights.
Most of the reveals are pretty boring — make contestant walk up stairs, make contestant sit in chair & sweat, see contestant cry for whatever the decision is. Add water, rinse, repeat.
The annoying thing is the number of people who have been put through who forgot their lyrics. If you’re going to tell contestants that forgetting the lyrics means the end of the road, then make it the end of the road. It’s not like there weren’t other good singers who didn’t forget their lyrics. Annoying, Idol. Way annoying.
Simon tells Frankie that it’s ok she’s not in, because she wouldn’t have won anyway. Ouch.
Tatiana screamed. A lot. I just hope that my co-worker Todd didn’t throw his dog at the TV when he found out she was in the top 36. I don’t think anything I could discover about her back story could make her not annoying. I just don’t think it’s possible.
Ok, learning Nathaniel crying-pierced face boy’s back story made me a bit more sympathetic to him. He’s one of those kids who is looking to better his life, and he is talented. I just wish he wasn’t so emo, but I can’t blame him either. Just be sassy kid & save the crying for off-camera.
We get a working-class singing throw down. Our oil rigger is pitted against our welder. But in the end it doesn’t matter, because both are put through.
So, we’ve got:
Adam Lambert
Alexander Wagner-Trugman
Alexis Grace
Allison Iraheta
Ann Marie Boskovich
Anoop Desai
Arianna Ayesha Afsar
Brent Keith
Casey Carlson
Danny Gokey
Jackie Tohn
Jasmine Murray
Jeanine Vailes
Jessica Langseth
Joanna Pacitti
Jorge Nunez
Junot Joyner
Kai Kalama
Kendall Beard
Kristen McNamara
Kris Allen
Lil Rounds
Matt Breitzke
Matt Giraud
Megan Corkrey
Michael Sarver
Mishavonna Henson
Nathaniel Marshall
Nick Mitchell
Ricky Braddy
Scott MacIntyre
Stephen Fowler
Stevie Wright
Taylor Vaifanua
Tatiana Del Toro
Von Smith
Twelve are up next week. Get ready to dial, folks, so we don’t have to hear Tatiana laugh again.