by Athena Voulgaropoulos
The 81st Academy Awards came and went. The big winner, as predicted, was Slumdog Millionaire. Slumdog took home eight awards, including Best Picture and Best Director.
Kate Winslet won the Oscar for Best Actress. Penelope Cruz won Best Supporting Actress. Heath Ledger’s family accepted his posthumous Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. The only real surprise of the night came during the award for Best Actor, which went to Sean Penn. Even Penn himself seemed surprised that Mickey Rourke’s name wasn’t called.
There seemed to be a lot more heart during these Oscars than in previous years. There were many first-time winners and a diverse group of winners altogether. Best Supporting Actress winner Penelope Cruz set the tone with a heartfelt story of growing up with nothing, never believing something like an Oscar would be possible. When winners paid tribute to their fellow nominees, it never felt like lip service. Even the presentations for the acting categories focused on praise and inspiration, not competition. What a bunch of hippies!
That said, save the singing and dancing for the Tony Awards. Hugh Jackman, I want Jon Stewart back. For a full accounting of Oscar night, read on.
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7:00pm CST
The ceremony is set to start in less than 10 minutes. Red Carpet coverage began on ABC at 7pm. There is a flurry of beautiful dresses and screaming fans. E! and TV Guide Channel began Red Carpet interviews hours ago. Of the many Red Carpet hosts, I’ve been debating a winner.
Tim Gunn stands out among the shameful ABC crew. One guy, Jess Cagle, seemed completely incompetent as a celebrity handler. He gave a backhanded compliment to Mickey Rourke and didn’t seem to know Robert Downey Jr.’s date was Mrs. Downey. His spots were awkward and embarrassing. No wonder the camera cut back to Tim Gunn so abruptly and so often. Now that man is a true professional. An eloquent fashionista. I wish I could hang with Tim Gunn. Lisa Rinna and Joey Fatone, the chubby ‘NSync member, were fine. But I have to say – and hate to admit it – the closest competition for Tim Gunn was Ryan Seacrest. He really does have that Dick Clark hosting personality.
My Favorite Dress on the Runway: Taraji P. Henson.
7:35pm CST
Ah, enough covering the coverage. The Oscars are on!
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7:50pm CST
Hugh Jackman opens the Academy Awards making self-deprecating jokes about his films and the economy. Then he sings a silly little tribute to the nominees. The Boy From Oz has a nice voice; he’s clearly a showman. He pulls Anne Hathaway onstage to help him act out Frost/Nixon. I’ll admit it was pretty funny to hear the two of them banter romantic while calling each other Frost and Nixon. But frankly the Broadway performance is a little too contrived for me.
All the big acting nominees are seated in the front row – Anne Hathaway, Frank Langella, Kate Winslet, Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei. The seats wrap around the stage, so any which way Hugh Jackman turns, there’s someone there to poke fun at. About Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt – “I don’t actually have a joke for them. But I’m contractually obligated to mention them at least five times during the show.”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
And then a retrospective of past Best Supporting Actress acceptance speeches. Five former winners, Eva Marie Saint, Anjelica Huston, Whoopi Goldberg, Goldie Hawn and Tilda Swinton, all step out onto the stage to present the Best Supporting Actress.
Viola Davis – Doubt
Penelope Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona * WINNER
Amy Adams – Doubt
Taraji P. Henson – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler
Penelope Cruz is the winner for her electric, multi-lingual performance in Vicky Cristina Barcelona (directed by Woody Allen). Penelope gives the sweetest acceptance speech I’ve heard in a very long time. She looks beautiful and her cream-colored vintage gown is absolutely stunning.
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8:10pm CST
Tina Fey and Steve Martin present the next award, for Best Original Screenplay. They engage in a comedic battle trying to one-up each other as they introduce the nominees. They also poke fun at Scientology with jokes about their own invented religion. Can Tina Fey do wrong? I don’t think so.
Dustin Lance Black picks up the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for Milk. I think Dustin Lance Black is about 19 years old. He looks like a child! He gives an honest and tearful 30-second memoir, and turns his spot into a pro-LGBT call to action. Considering the film he wrote and received a nomination for, hardly a surprise.
– I apologize if I fall slightly behind, I really can’t type as fast as Hugh Jackman can sing.
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8:20pm CST
Slumdog Millionaire picks up its first win, for Best Adapted Screenplay.
Jennifer Aniston, in a beautiful silver sparkling dress with lovely long tresses, presents a tribute segment with Jack Black – The Year in Animation. Then they present the Oscars for Best Animated Feature and Best Animated Short Film to WALL-E and La Maison en Petits Cubes, respectively. Jen really does look good. I wonder if there’s still a little Brangelina resentment. Well, she showed up Angelina pretty handily, if you ask me.
The winner for Best Animated Short, Kunio Kato, seemed uncomfortable with trying to translate his thank-yous into English, but I’ve got to hand it to the guy… He really cut me up when he added “Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto” to the end of his speech. That is just funny in any language.
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8:40pm CST
– Benjamin Button – 1, Slumdog – 1. All tied up. Ooh. Tense awards race we’ve got here, like the arms race during the Cold War. Except way less dangerous and paranoid. I think Slumdog will pull off the victory.
Of course, Carrie Bradshaw will present the only fashion award, the Oscar for Costume Design, which goes to The Duchess. Boring British guy, big surprise, considering such a boring, British film.
- Benjamin Button – 2, Slumdog – 1. Ooh, maybe I spoke too soon! The Curious Case of Benjamin Button takes the lead when it picks up the Oscar for Makeup
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8:50pm CST
Robert Pattinson (every tween girl’s dream) from Twilight, and Amanda Seyfried from Mamma Mia! are onstage to introduce another tribute segment, The Year in Romance. Why do I think there should be a Best Kiss award coming next? Teeny-boppers presenting a serious award at the Oscars? Preposterous. I must’ve flipped on the MTV Movie Awards on accident.
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9:05pm CST
Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller, in his best grizzled Joaquin Phoenix costume, are next to present. Portman to Stiller: “You look like you work at an Hasidic meth lab.” Natalie introduces the nominees, while Ben wanders aimlessly around the stage. Unfortunately, the camera missed the first few stage antics – it zoomed in to pick up the screen images and only zoomed out after the audience’s laughter became quite noticeable, and clearly unrelated to the Cinematography nominees.
- Benjamin Button – 2, Slumdog – 2.
Commercial. And we’re back and there’s Jessica Biel saying something. I stared and listened and all I heard was a monotone blah blah blah. Thank god for the Nextel commercial that came on directly after. It snapped me out of the coma before my brain function could fully dissolve into a vegetative state.
Back at the Oscars, we get to watch a fun sketch from Seth Rogan and James Franco. They take their stoner characters from Pineapple Express and offer up the next tribute. I’m not sure if it’s the best of the worst films that weren’t nominated, or the year in comedy. Either way, it was funny. And at least the guys don’t look like bums when they present the award for Live Action Short Film to the German director/producer of Spielzeugland (Toyland). A short foreign film I’ve unfortunately never heard of.
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9:20 pm CST
There’s some time to kill now before the big awards. So, we get a Broadway revue starring Hugh Jackman and Beyoncé. Then Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron from the High School Musical series, and members of Mamma Mia’s cast are there and everyone’s singing. “The Musical is back!” Jackman exclaims. All I can say is “Please, No.” Yikes!
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BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
The award for Best Supporting Actor follows the pattern established earlier with the Best Supporting Actress award. Alan Arkin stumbles over Philip Seymour Hoffman’s name and the sound is garbled. Joel Grey, Oscar-winning emcee of Cabaret, talks about Josh Brolin’s performance in Milk and underscores the need for a more tolerant world. Cuba Gooding Jr. announces another Jr.’s nomination and calls him out for wearing black face in the film Tropic Thunder. Christopher Walken introduces us to Michael Shannon because frankly who the heck is that guy!? Kevin Kline closes with a compliment to Heath Ledger’s performance.
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Josh Brolin, Milk
Robert Downey Jr, Tropic Thunder
Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight * WINNER
Heath Ledger wins a posthumous Oscar for his dynamic portrayal of an entirely new Joker in The Dark Knight. His parents and sister accept the award. I thought it would be more tearful, but it was rather dull. Eh. Yeah. That award acceptance really does him no credit at all. They would each fail my theater class. Nice-looking family though.
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9:40pm CST
Bill Maher stepped up to honor the best in Documentaries. Documentary Feature went to Man on Wire. The little group behind that film really made me laugh. Philippe Petit, the subject of the documentary, started performing magic tricks (I mean, illusions) in a very endearing way during his speech. I like those guys. They can hang with me and Tim Gunn.
Documentary Short Subject went to Smile Pinki.
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A video tribute to Year in Action preceded Outstanding Visual Effects. Will Smith rose up from underneath the stage to present the Post Production awards. There are rarely single presenters, but if anyone can pull it off, it’s Will Smith. He has presence and charisma and quite a way with words. On great effects teams: “They can take Brad Pitt and turn him into a garden gnome.” Benjamin Button wins Visual Effects.
- Benjamin Button – 3, Slumdog – 2. What a close match this is. Slumdog, underdog? They’re practically the same word and I cheer for both.
Sound Editing goes to The Dark Knight.
Sound Mixing goes to Slumdog Millionaire. Aw the sweet little man who is accepting this award seems so shocked and grateful. You know, there have been a lot of ‘when I was a kid, I never thought this would be possible’ kinds of speeches. It’s a nice change of pace from the Academy’s usual suspects. Humbling. Maybe change really is in the air.
Film Editing goes to Slumdog Millionaire.
- Benjamin Button – 3, Slumdog – 4.
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I’ve begun to lose track of time, not gonna lie, CST
Eddie Murphy – no, he’s not onstage to accept any awards for Meet Dave! – pays tribute to Jerry Lewis, who receives the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for his years of dedication and service with the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I didn’t know this fact prior to tonight, but Jerry Lewis has supported the MDA, hosting the yearly telethon, since its inception in 1966. I know he’s been working with the organization for a long time – who hasn’t heard of Jerry’s Kids? But I didn’t realize it’s been that long. Wow. How many young celebrities today are so committed to a cause?
Musical interlude. Sweet. Picture-go-fast! Maybe I can catch up a little.
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- Benjamin Button – 3, Slumdog – 5.
Another musical interlude. Of the three original songs, two are from Slumdog Millionaire. That just seems weird, you don’t get those kinds of odds anywhere! Ooh, John Legend is singing! That man is dreamy. His voice is silky. Do you think he’s the modern Marvin Gaye? 
Original Song – you guessed it. “Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire. A.R. Rahman doesn’t know what to say. He seems surprised by this second award; he said everything in the first speech.
- Benjamin Button – 3, Slumdog – 6.
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Best Foreign Language Film goes to Japanese film Departures.
Why is Queen Latifah alone onstage? Oh, I see. She’s presenting the 2008 Obituaries. She seems way too happy to be honoring and respecting the dearly departed. But then she breaks into a smooth version of “I’ll Be Seeing You” as clips fill the background. What a lovely song … she wins me over. So many wonderful artists died this year, I’m tearing up.
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getting late, CST
BEST DIRECTOR
The award for Best Director is presented by Reese Witherspoon. She’s wearing a dark blue dress, which sets nicely against her blonde hair. Her speech is articulated well. She attempts a joke, but it feels flat. I’ve heard she can be a type-A perfectionist on set. I wonder if she ever has any fun.
Danny Boyle, Slumdog MIllionaire * WINNER
Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
David Fincher, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Stephen Daldry, The Reader
Gus Van Sant, Milk
Danny Boyle expresses gratitude and humility. He even compliments the Academy Awards event planners for creating a lovely ceremony. Which it is, I have to agree. The Kodak Theater looks spectacular. Great presentation, well done designers.
- Benjamin Button – 3, Slumdog – 7. My picks for the top four awards are now 1-1.
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getting later, CST
BEST ACTRESS
Five former Best Actress winners – Shirley MacLaine, Marion Cotillard, Halle Berry, Sophia Loren, and Nicole Kidman – emerge from behind curtains to present the Oscar for Best Actress. They each announce a name and summarize the reasons for the nominations, but they do so in a very personal way. They speak directly to the actresses, making eye contact from the stage, and express heartfelt admiration.
Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Kate Winslet, The Reader * WINNER *
Melissa Leo, The Frozen River
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Kate Winslet survived the Titanic to win an Oscar for Best Actress in The Reader. Kate is gorgeous, truly elegant. Her hair is classic, her dress stunning… I think the win was a gimme, but not because of her excellent performance in this film or even because of any lack of competition. I think it had a whole lot to do with the TWO great performances she gave this year, in The Reader and Revolutionary Road. Maybe we can call it a win for The Revolutionary Reader? I am now 2-2. Alright! I should totally start a psychic detective agency.
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thank god for DVR, CST
BEST ACTOR
Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Adrien Brody, Sir Anthony Hopkins, and Ben Kingsley present the award for Best Actor.
Bobby De Niro makes a few cracks about Sean Penn. Cut to Sean Penn in the audience, laughing. I notice Robin Wright Penn is next to him and makes me wonder how far behind the gossip I’ve fallen. Last I heard, they were having some unpleasant marital issues, rumors of a separation. And then, what is this! Adrien Brody, Google??? What the heck man? How unprofessional are you!? You make out with Halle Berry onstage during your Oscars, you have no idea who Richard Jenkins is during these Oscars. I’m offended. And I’m embarrassed for you.
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk * WINNER
Richard Jenkins, The Visitor
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
Well, unfortunately, I am now 2-3 on Oscar predictions. But, hey, Sean Penn was my second choice for winner. Sean apologizes for how hard he makes it for people to appreciate him. He also makes a very political statement on the issue of gay rights. I love you Sean Penn. I don’t think I’d ever want to hang with you because you kind of seem like a jerk. But I think you’re great.
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It’s late and I’ve run out of synonyms for beautiful and presents, CST
BEST FILM
Steven Spielberg appears onstage. I think he’s saying something. He’s here to present the Best Film of the year. I like how they intertwine clips from the nominated films with clips from classic films.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire * WINNER
Hooray!!! This is great. The entire cast and crew from Slumdog Millionaire crowds onstage. You can tell how much the film meant to everyone who worked on it. An international collaboration, a classic love story. That’s how cinema should be. Not just money-making endeavors. But a creation that means something. Even a simple story can mean something great. I’m not sure The Love Guru meant much to anyone.
- Final Tally: Benjamin Button – 3, Slumdog – 8. My Oscar Picks – 3 of 4.
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Image Credits:
ABC/Adam Larkey
© 2009 A.M.P.A.S. – Michael Yada, Photographer