By Stacey Harrison
Gee, that’s not a good sign, is it? The weakest episode of the season, and it’s the only one so far that has had no trace of the interns. Nope, strictly principal cast members this week, wandering through an unfocused plot about experimental treatment and relationship anxiety.
We start off with Turk watching SportsCenter in the break room, listening to the true news account of NFL player Kevin Everett, who avoided almost certain paralysis through a relatively untested and controversial technique called cold therapy. Seems random at the time, but of course it comes into play later. He’s telling Carla that he’s wary about their new baby being a girl, because he’s already surrounded by girls. Cue J.D. entering the room, looking up at SportsCenter and asking, “What is this show? Is it new?”
J.D. then imagines himself on SportsCenter, being named world’s worst athlete. I’m all for fantasy sequences, but it doesn’t make much sense — even in Scrubs terms — to make yourself the butt of the joke in your own fantasy.
When Turk encounters a patient facing paralysis, and he has a difficult time telling the boy’s father the diagnosis, his mind remembers cold therapy. The father (played by Tim DeKay of the Bizzaro Seinfeld universe and the clinically icky Tell Me You Love Me) is desperate to get it going, regardless of the risks, but Turk checks with Carla first, letting her know if it backfires he could get sued. She tells him to imagine if it were his own kid, and to try everything he can.
Cox and Janitor, meanwhile, are struggling with their lady friends. Jordan spies Cox wearing his wedding ring and says it makes her uncomfortable and she wants him to stop. Janitor has a good laugh about their problems, taunting them with how strong his relationship with Lady is, until the next day when Lady seems really skittish about holding hands with him. He’s convinced she’s about to dump him, so he decides to either dump her first or, better yet, just avoid talking to her. Ever. That way, she can’t deliver the breakup.
They get unsolicited relationship advice from Elliott, only to tell her to stuff it, because hey, what the heck would she know about making a steady relationship work. What is it, like the millionth time she and J.D. have gotten back together? And likewise, isn’t this about the millionth joke about that? I get the sense the writers at Scrubs are so worried about fans being annoyed at J.D. and Elliott’s on again-off again shenanigans that they feel compelled to mock them themselves. Problem is, that becomes irritating in its own right. Let’s move on.
It’s all solved pretty easily, as Jordan gives in and decides to wear her wedding ring as well, and Janitor learns that Lady’s hand-holding issues come from being a germaphobe. “So you’re weird?” he asks. “I like that.” He proceeds to warn her every time her hands touch the bacteria-infested table, and helps her avoid sketchy characters in the hallway. I must ask, though, how could they be going out for this long without this issue coming up?
The cold therapy seems to be working. When we last see the patient, he has movement in his fingers. So, happy ending, I guess. But the main thing I take away from this episode is how distracting Christa Miller’s surgically altered face is becoming. Kinda makes that Botox episode awhile back seem a bit uncomfortable upon reflection.
There was also the awkward attempt to inject marginal character Dr. Zeltzer into the mix. I remember him popping up now and then, as an accomplished doctor with a questionable personal life, but I didn’t need him to be in the Brain Trust. Worst line of the season: Janitor saying, “I just got Zeltzer-ed.” Might as well flash “Catchphrase alert” on the screen. And how could we get the Todd in an episode, but not give him a single high-five joke?
I don’t mean to get too down on the show. Not every episode can be strong. This one might have been able to be shoved under the rug were it not for it being the first new show in over a month. Add in that it totally removes all the new characters they’ve introduced this season, and it becomes a notable misfire.
Photo: Credit: ABC/Bob D’Amico