“The Superstars” Recap: Week 3

By Mike

We’re down to six teams as Week 3 action begins. And it begins with an event destined to make some of the athletes and celebrities look a little bit foolish — the Lagoon Swim. Some people simply are not strong swimmers. Unfortunately for teammates Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa, that’s one of the few things they have in common. Brandi Chastain isn’t so great, either, but at least she’s paired with Julio Iglesias Jr., who moves as fast in the water as T.O. does on the football field. Other standouts in this event are David Charvet (who spent plenty of time in the water on Baywatch), Bode Miller and Kristi Leskinen. At the end of the event, which is basically a relay race in which each team member swims 100 yards, the standing look like this:

1. Kristi Leskinen & Maks Chmerkovskiy – 100 points

2. Brandi Chastain & Julio Iglesias Jr. – 80

3. Lisa Leslie & David Charvet – 70

4. Bode Miller & Paige Hemmis – 60

5. Jeff Kent & Ali Landry – 50

6. Terrell Owens & Joanna Krupa – 40

The next event is the Basketball Shootout, in which teammates take turns shooting baskets from varying distances for varying point values. The object is to rack up as many points as possible in one minute. We assume the other competitors are breathing a sigh of relief that former NBA star Robert Horry and his partner, Estella Warren, were eliminated last week. With Big Shot Bob out of the picture, this event is Lisa Leslie’s to dominate, right? Eh, not so much. Her strategy of taking longer shots and scoring bigger points backfires when she can’t hit a damn shot. She and David, who fares slightly better than his pro partner, finish behind all but one team, and that’s only because Kristi choked badly during her team’s turn. The updated standings are:

1. Brandi & Julio – 180 points (100 points in the Basketball Shootout)

T2. Bode & Paige – 140 (80)

T2. Kristi & Maks – 140 (40)

4. Lisa & David – 120 (50)

T5. T.O. & Joanna – 110 (70)

T5. Jeff & Ali – 110 (60)

The bottom three teams are headed to the Obstacle Course, where they’ll be joined by the loser of a tiebreaker round of Basketball Shootout between Kristi & Maks and Bode & Paige. After an abysmal seven points in the actual competition, Kristi & Maks put up an impressive 25 points — the high score for the event — with a trip to the Obstacle Course on the line, while Bode & Paige manage a respectable but ultimately beatable 16.

The first heat at the Obstacle Course pits Lisa & David against Bode & Paige. Bode absolutely tears up the course, building a lead so big that Paige can’t possibly squander it (though Lisa does her best to see that she nearly does.) T.O. & Joanna take down Jeff & Ali in Heat 2, thanks to T.O.’s masterful and extremely brief tumble through the dreaded cargo nets. In the elimination race, Lisa & David pull off a huge upset and knock off Jeff & Ali, who were easily the cutest couple in the competition. Then again, you could pair up Ali Landry with Quasimodo, and she’d still outcute the competition all by herself.

Next week’s episode promises more running — and bowling!  — so check back on Wednesday for our recap.

Photo credit: American Broadcasting Companies, Inc./Adam Larkey