Welcome back, Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars all-stars. Everyone ready for Date (Someone Else) Night? Because we’re in for a magical time!
We start by revisiting the conversation at the end of last week’s episode in which Roger laid bare his frustrations with Jenni and then went upstairs and started mildly wrecking the joint.
Roger admits that he did take his anger out on the production crew, unplugging all of the cameras and mics in the couple’s room, while downstairs, Jenni — whose continued penchant for aging herself by 30 years by dressing like Joan Crawford during the iffy years drives me nuts — tells Jim and Elizabeth that she really is there for the right reasons. But she also deals with Roger’s foibles at home, so she has learned to tread lightly when he gets all like that. Nonetheless, this is her career, so she needs to figure out how to make it and her relationship coexist properly and that’s what she’s here for. And Roger has to be a part of that. And now Roger is upstairs packing.
After Roger denies Jenni five minutes to apologize, Jim asks if they can hash it out man-to-man, and Roger agrees — if they are men without cameras or microphones trained on them. We get a peek at the show’s irked executive producer Adam Freeman, who agrees that Roger is committing more to the show than Jenni is, so you know, they should probably try to salvage him. Jim is allowed into Roger and Jenni’s room — which is still mic’d after all — while Jenni with Elizabeth talk it over down stars.
From behind the door, Roger says he’d do the show for free because he wants to save his relationship. Elizabeth tells Jenni that she feels like she is trying … but probably not 100-percent. Jenni says she doesn’t know what 100-percent entails, but she’ll go try to convince Roger that she’s willing to keep at it. Jim says if Jenni is anything but honest moving forward, she’s out on her bespangled ear.
Out at the Breakfast Nook of Serious Discussion, Jim, Elizabeth, Ilsa and Bobby discuss the day’s activities, which are designed to reveal who the campers are outside of their relationships, because fulfilling individual needs and wants are vital to a partnership. We think Roger and Jenni and Slade and Gretch are going to have the toughest time.
When it’s time to convene in the boot camp room, Jim explains that the day is about needs and wants because if needs and wants aren’t met, people are certain to fulfill them elsewhere, whether that’s via an affair, addiction, working too much or what have you. So let’s start by telling our partners what our unfulfilled needs and wants are. Traci and Kevin first.
Traci needs Kevin to realize that she knows how to handle her music career. Kevin needs Traci to teach him things that she knows. She knows how to handle her music career. I’m caught in a vicious cycle.
Gretchen and Slade go next. Slade says he needs Gretchen to be more specific about what she wants from him. Oh honey, no. No you don’t. Well, since you said … Gretchen needs you to get a job so she feels more financially secure. Slade blinks and swallows hard. You opened the door, Sladers. She just walked through.
Trista needs Ryan to trust that she is not like the other people who have betrayed him. AKA, the duplicitous former girlfriend from last week. Ryan needs more genuine physical contact and to not feel like Trista’s just checkin’ it off the list.
Tanisha wants Clive to take control of their relationship. Clive says yes, but when he tries, she kicks him out. Tanisha decides to pull out the ol’ “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Whoever came up with that phrase should have their hair yanked out at the root by the person who came up with the idea that “Keep Calm and ______ On” applies to everything and then switch roles. Clive gets choked up when he says that everything about Tanisha changed when she got famous. Jim intervenes and asks them to express what they want in one word. Tanisha: Security. Clive: Love.
Roger just wants Jenni to be open and honest with him. Also, has he mentioned that their personal life is bleeding too much into her career? Jim wants Roger to just stick with the “honesty” part for now which bothers Roger badly. Jenni’s turn. She says that Roger always has an excuse for not showing her romance and affection … and if he won’t do it, she will find someone who will.
After Jim rehashes the part about needing to fulfill your partner’s needs and wants to prevent them from toddling off into the arms of another, Elizabeth announces that tonight is Date Night.
“Yaaaaaaay!” hollers Trista. Then Liz announces that they will be dating someone else’s partner … and, amusingly, everyone’s smiles seem to go wider. Jim and Elizabeth have specially selected the pairings and the activities based on everyone’s needs and wants to form the most educational matchups.
Meet your Boot Camp Dating Game contestants.
• Gretchen and Kevin. “I knew it!” sighs Kevin. They will be dining out in style.
• Jenni and Slade will be getting dance instructions. “How lucky am I!” says Slade. Jenni thinks they will be a good match because Slade has a big … personality. Roger clutches his heart.
• Traci and Clive will be receiving a couple’s massage.
• Trista and Roger will be doing something called acroyoga.
Oh good Lord. That means Ryan gets Tanisha. Tanisha leaps up and applauds. They will be cookin’ … literally. Desserts, specifically. Privately, Tanisha says she has always been “down with the vanilla swirl.” The vanilla half of that equation hasn’t been quite so cooperative. Clive pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose without comment.
Oh oh. Trouble in Brand New Paradise already. Gretchen announces she will not be partaking in her date with Kevin because of a “prior commitment.” That’s what they all say, Gretch. That’s what they all say. A prior commitment that’s more important than the boot camp?” sniffs Elizabeth. After a dramatic pause, Gretchen says yes.
She gets pulled into the principal’s office and explains that she is committed to a charity appearance. Jim wants to know if Slade is part of the contract, too. He isn’t. Plus, he flat-out wants to stay and learn to boogie with Jenni, which makes Gretchen look ill. Slade says if they’re ever going to break their co-dependency, this is probably a good place to start. With him dating another woman. Who is not actually married. And is on TV. And wants to stay there. And is currently very annoyed with her partner. He’s suddenly very committed to the show.
Gretch ain’t buying any of it. She says Kevin and Jenni can learn to dance and the guy she wants to be more will independent will follow her like a puppy on a string. Elizabeth points out that this is exactly the heart of their problems and she and Jim are very proud of Slade for wanting to stay. Kevin says he’s perfectly game to be The Black Slade and go with Gretchen to the event. Traci reminds him that she’s his Black Barbie for life.
In their room, Gretchen admits that she freaks when White Slade’s not around. Then she gets did up like a real-life Barbie and off she and her Black Slade go.
When Ryan shows up to escort Tanisha to their baking date, she is wearing heels and pearls and presents him with a rose. Ryan, will you accept this rose? Ryan will.
The other folks pair up and head out, too.
Jim and Liz say they paired Gretchen with Kevin because he has no problem being open and honest and that is what Gretch says she wants out of Slade. To my thinking she should have been paired with the king of openness and honesty, Roger. But Gretchen is the closest to Jenni in wanting to foster her fame, so that probably would not have gone well at all. Kevin wants more direct communication from Traci and Gretch is a straight-shooter. The pair toast each other in the limo.
Jenni and Slade will learn how to Salsa, so he can learn to take control and she can learn to surrender it.
Houston the massage therapist informs Clive and Traci that not only will they be getting massages, but they will learn to massage each other, too, because they both need to learn to be giving to their partners. Traci gets her rubdown first. While Houston kneads, Traci quizzes Clive about himself and learns that he wants to go to culinary school, but his hearing loss is impeding that. You can do it, Clive! Traci says!
Sara and man-bunned Whaka (no, that is not a typo … and yes, I will wait while you bust out your best Fozzie Bear impression. Also, auto-correct is giving me one hell of a battle about keeping “man bun” in here, insisting that I must mean “man gun.” No, auto-correct. No. Men are are laying down their guns and picking up their bobbie pins. Try to stay current.) Anyway, Sara and Whacka are acroyoga instructors and Jim and Elizabeth hope this exercise will teach Trista to be more giving of physical contact and help Roger deal with his issues of trust.
If being balanced like a toddler on Whaka’s hands and feet doesn’t do the trick on that one, I don’t know what will. And dude is game like there is no tomorrow. 370 points to Roger for taking being foot juggled by a man like a man.
In an aside, Trista explains that it was a lot of fun to hang out with funny, funny Roger. While Ryan looks at her like she just sneezed on his pancakes, Trista cheerfully adds that Rog is totally different from Ryan because he’s so open with his emotions.
Speaking of Ryan, he and Tanisha will actually be crafting cake pops for the group. Jim and Elizabeth are hoping that Ryan brings out the warm and fuzzy in Tanisha and that Tanisha will see the positive impact of being warm and fuzzy. Tanisha is clearly an enthusiastic dater, opting for the red AND the white and treating Ryan to a little of this, ya’ll.
Please just live through this, Ryan.
And the innuendo flies. Tanisha says she prefers small balls. Ryan says she’s very good with balls. To his wife, he says some people are just born to bake. We’re all very proud of Ryan.
While Roger tries to get as comfortable touching parts with Trista as he was with Whaka, he admits that he is lacking in the romance department and touches that don’t have anything to do with sex. But he thinks acroyoga might actually help.
As Gretchen and Kevin approach the charity event, Gretchen gets a text that TMZ is waiting for her there and decides to do the appearance alone, you know, so people won’t talk. Is what it is, Kevin, but YAY for Gretchen for doing something all by her lonesome, right? At least that’s how she feels about it. Kevin feels that mixing business and boot camp is cheating. And hanging out alone in the back of a limo is a very not good date.
Clive is a veritable bucket of openness while massaging Traci’s tootsies, so Traci takes the opportunity to tell him gently that Tanisha has grown and genuinely wants him to grow with her. Clive admits she says that all the time.
On the makeshift boot camp dance floor, Danella the instructor reminds Slade and Jenni to “mash those hips together!” when they dance. Slade reminds his partner that what she is feeling is actually his mic pack, not his own herbs and spices. Jenni opts to step out of her sky-high stilettos, anyway, so her hips are a little less mashable for the rest of the dance. But she does admit that couples dancing is a good way to learn to surrender control.
In the makeshift boot camp yoga studio, we learn that Trista has a fragile vestibular system (and, if you are me, learn that a vestibular system is actually a thing in the first place) which is causing the more advanced acroyoga motions to make her nauseous. Roger helpfully opens a window and says he feels bad for her. He does not feel bad when Jenni has motion sickness because that is every blessed day.
In the kitchen, Ryan and Tanisha have abandoned dipping balls for dipping berries and are talking about how nice it is be doing something fun for a change. Ryan says he’s a typical white guy and has to drink before he gets out on the dance floor and Tanisha immediately announces she’s going to give him some “Swagu lessons.” “What is swagu?” Ryan wants to know. But he’s open to it, whatever it is.
It’s this.
Before you learn to dance, you have to learn to walk, according to Tanisha. Not like that. Like this. Ryan looks more cramp than swagger, but all is forgiven when he checks out her booty at the end. Ryan pronounces date night off the chain, yo!
Being ditched at the door somehow still works out for Kevin, who charitably says that if Gretchen can work the charity event without Slade, he can …. yeah, I don’t really get what he just said, but 312 points for his trying to say something nice about it anyway.
The next morning the campers have a date night debriefing over breakfast, and Ryan thanks Tanisha for accepting him into the black community. Ryan cramp-swaggers to the amusement of the group.
Mixed-up-couple evaluation time.
Ryan gives Tanisha more props for a good time in the kitchen and the Carrolls ask him why he can be so loose and silly with Tanisha, but not with his own wife. Trista just shakes her head. Then they tell Tanisha that she’d make Clive feel great if she gave him the kind of lighthearted, flirtatious attention that she gave Ryan.
Jenni says hers and Slade’s dance lesson was a tug-of-war because she still wanted to take control, just like she does in her relationship. Slade points out that the difference was that he wasn’t trying to take control back. He looks very proud of himself, but Jim says that’s Slade’s whole problem. Gretchen wants him to be a Man in Control and he’s not. Then Jim tells Roger and Jenni that when they’re both being bullheaded at the expense of the real issue, they’re just being STUPID.
Traci said she liked exchanging dreams and aspirations with Clive, but found herself saying to him things that she doesn’t like Kevin saying to her, even though she meant them as encouragement. Elizabeth says Roger liked the feedback, so it’s perfectly fine.
Elizabeth says that even though it’s unfortunate that Kevin got cast aside for his partner’s career again, he did a great job of handling it with patience and understanding. Gretchen gets props for ditching boot camp and Kevin all by herself. Seriously? We’re not going to say one word about poor Kevin getting shafted on having any sort of super fun night? Not one? Poor Kevin.
The Carrolls give Roger props for handling all the indignities of acroyoga with such enthusiasm, but point out that Trista was reserved because not all of it was exactly ladylike and pleasant. Trista says she’s the silliest person ever at home, and Elizabeth shoots back that she should be the same person here that she is at home with her kids.
Roger says he does realize that his grudges stand in the way of him being loose and fun with Jenni. But still. Honesty. Openness. Her bad. Jim says Roger expects everyone to share his belief system or else he blows his stack. He needs to learn to forgive and let things go.
After evals, Roger, Trista, Slade and Gretchen are hanging in the kitchen when a clearly rattled Jenni interrupts, clutching her cellphone. She tells Roger that some “asshole running his mouth downstairs has sold the story,” and Roger immediately says it’s all her fault and some asshole running his mouth downstairs means she clearly does not care about him at all. But neither says what the big secret it.
No problem. The White Oprah knows.
And since Slade was just pressed firmly against what could be Jenni’s burgeoning baby bump, I’m guessing Slade is not quite as shocked as he looks.
Next week: stuffed genitalia, shock and awe and who’s the tattletale?
So what did you think of tonight’s festivities? Are you signing up for acroyoga classes immediately, barring clearance from your vestibular system? Are you more mad at Gretchen for ditching boot camp or ditching Kevin? Or did she just do what she had to do? Roger — good guy or self-righteous ass? And whoooooo’s the traitor? Sound off in the comments section below.
New episodes of Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars air Friday nights at 9/8CT on WE tv.
Images/video: WE tv