Naked And Afraid Nicaragua Recap: Season 3, Episode 4

After last week’s tension-filled episode of Naked and Afraid, I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen next. That was a pretty disastrous couple, (but it made for great TV). I can’t believe the number of critical comments about survivalists Carrie. Her partner Tom was both praised for his patience and scrutinized for both his unwillingness to snuggle and his single-minded concern for firewood.

This week, the folks at Discovery have teased a possible romance between the two participants. If there is any romance between Jaclyn and Adam, I bet it will be pretty PG. This is Naked and Afraid: Nicaragua, not Dating Naked. And after a few weeks without toothpaste and deodorant, they are going to be funky!

This week we’re headed to Nicaragua. Maybe because I was a kid in the 1980’s, but whenever I hear of Nicaragua I think of the contras, so this is not on my list most eagerly anticipated countries to visit.

From the get-go, the land looks like Jurassic Park. C’mon sing the Jurassic Park theme song with me. Now it’s stuck in your head. You’re welcome. There is no Dino DNA here, the top of the Nicaraguan food chain is the elusive puma, (but not Puma from Season 1).

Let’s meet the people who are teased as possible lovers!

Jaclyn,
Age 25. Teaches primitive skills. Vegetarian. Likes to live off of the land, but only the vegetarian part of the land. Wildlife educator, Free Spirit, Single, but looking to mingle. One of her photos is her with a hula hoop.

Adam,
Age 29. Loves hunting. Teaches Wild Game Guide. In a relationship and his lady is uncomfortable with him being naked.  He’s not single and they’ve teased this episode as a possible hook up episode? ruh-roh.

After they roll through what looks like a Range Rover commercial, they arrive and the meeting place, get naked and do an awkward, shake hands, then hug thing.

They are each allowed one survival item.  Jaclyn chose a fire starter, Adam chose a big knife. They’re in the mountains at 2500′ of elevation.  It might get chilly up here and I wonder if the slightly thinner air will make it harder for them to breathe

Adam: “One of the items on my bucket list is to convert a vegetarian to a meat-eater.”
Jaclyn: ”I’m a fan of beards. And that’s a pretty wicked beard.”

At the start of their adventure, the participants are assigned a PSR — a measurement of their skills, experience and mental toughness. Adam scores a 7.3 out of 10, Jaclyn scores a Jaclyn 7.1 out of 10.

Jacklyn thinks Adam is attractive and is quick to cover her body with a leaf bikini. Does finding your partner attractive make you shy? They seems to have some really giant leaves in Nicaragua and Jaclyn puts them to use making a loin cloth and building a shelter.

That night, they huddle together for warmth. Oh yeah, romance with no pants.

Day 2
After starting a fire, Jaclyn and Adam collect water for boiling. The wood is pretty wet, so the fire doesn’t get hot enough to make the water boil. They plan to head to an amazing waterfall the next day.

Day 3
Jaclyn feels terrible. Dizzy, fast heartbeat, confused. They’re dehydrated. This is the perfect time to start a 3-mile hike.

Jaclyn feels unable to go any farther (and is in the beginning stages of organ failure due to dehydration), Adam encourages her and they arrive at the waterfall. My husband pulled this trick on me once. We were running in a 8K race, and I was not enjoying myself (I was doing it because there was free beer at the end) and he kept saying “I can see the finish line, it’s just over there.” I believed him, even though the finish line was a mile away. He was an encouraging liar and so is Adam. Jaclyn is a little smitten with Encouraging Adam. But he wasn’t encouraging her to fall in love with him, just to not die.

Day 4
Adam heads out in search for meat. Jaclyn is hunting plants. Plants are slower than animals, so she catches some berries and some flowers. When they return to camp, Adam has a few snails, crabs and an earthworm. Jaclyn isn’t craving Adam’s meat.

Over the next few days, Adam and Jaclyn eek out a few calories here and there.

Night 8
While Jaclyn and Adam spoon, (Jaclyn was big spoon) they hear puma. Is the plural of puma, puma? Like If so, do people who wear Puma shoes, (the brand, not shoes made of the animal, that would just be cruel) call their shows Puma or Pumas? Does anyone wear this brand? Where do they sell them?

Day 9
Adam dons a fig leaf and heads out in search of food. Jaclyn teaches him how to hoot to communicate with each other. It is perhaps her mating call. I was hoping their signal sounded more like the tone from The Hunger Games or a sweet “Hootie Hoo!” Jaclyn finds a cave (reminiscent of the cave from Episode 1: Namibia). They agree to move to the cave for shelter.

Adam almost stepped on a snake. A fer-de-lance. The snake that totally wants to murder you. On the downside, Adam almost died. On the upside, Dinner!! This isn’t the first time this mega-deadly snake has ben caught on N&A. Obviously, the world’s most deadly snakes are also the most easily caught. When Adam kills and skins the snake, Jaclyn is willing to help him prepare the food, but unwilling to eat it.
Jaclyn: “Is it hard or is it mushy?”
Adam: “It’s more hard than mushy.”
Nothing like munching on a hard snake.

Day 10
The cave was perhaps a teensy bit warmer, but bug-filled. In case you wanted to know, (and who doesn’t?) Jaclyn has her period. Without iron and protein, she’s feeling pretty depleted.

Night 11
Something big visits them in the cave. A puma? A Sasquatch? A giant lettuce?

Day 12
Some kind of rodent-pig-like creature runs through camp.  Perhaps that was their night visitor. I have forgotten what it’s called, but I remember that someone caught one and ate it in Season 2. Adam wants to find it and smokes out a cave, but the cave he smokes out is actually only filled with a hundred million mosquitoes, which I’m sure promptly seek shelter in their cave.

Day 14
Jaclyn feels like a walking Zombie. She’s craving protein (Maybe brains?!?!)
Adam, “How many calories are in these flowers?”
Jaclyn “10.”
Dejected look from Adam.

Day 17
Jaclyn finds a lizard. After Adam kills it, he teaches her how to butcher its tiny body. While the carcass twitches over the fire (SO gross) I’m pretty sure Jaclyn’s brain throws up. It’s really too bad hey killed that lizard, it was trying to convince some of the other jungle creatures to join it in a romantic singing of “Kiss the Girl,” from The Little Mermaid. Now we’ll never get to know if singing animals could make Prince Adam return Jaclyn’s love, but to show him she’s interested, Jaclyn eats some of Adam’s lizard. A tiny, tiny bite of his lizard meat.

Day 19
Adam and Jaclyn recline on a beautiful hill. It almost looks romantic. Jaclyn seems like she’s falling a little for him because she’s willing to change for him by eating meat. Adam thinks they wouldn’t be friends if they had met on the street, but she’s envisioning them traveling together (And living together, and having children together, and…just kidding.)

Day 21
Adam and Jaclyn have a 6 mile hike to their extraction point. They hike through caves and canyons and chilly, chilly water.

Because the episode is almost over, of course they’re going to find their extraction point. And when they do, it’s like the guides are smiling on Jaclyn because what pulls up to their aid, a truck filled with Bananas! Manna from heaven and I’m surprised they don’t dive into the green bananas and munch away.

Naked and Afraid is such a bunch of liars! I was looking for some Naked and Afraid romance. It would have been adorable! Such terrible liars. I hate them, but I still love them, and I can’t wait to see what happens next week.

Over the course of 21 days, Adam lost 25 pounds and Jaclyn lost 18 pounds, much of it looks like it came from her face.

Their PSRs changed too. Jaclyn increased from a 7.1 to 7.5 and Adam increased from 7.3 to 7.8. Once home, of course they show Adam with his girlfriend, (which is likely an arrow in Jaclyn’s heart) but at least Jaclyn has her hula hoop to keep her warm.

Like Naked And Afraid? Check out these recaps:
Season 3, Episode 1: Namibia, Episode 2: Andros Islands, Episode 3: Cambodia, Episode 4, Nicaragua
Season 2, Episode 1: Peru, Episode 2:Madagascar, Episode 3: Fiji, Episode 4:Belize, Episode 5:Malaysia, Episode 6: Bolivia
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