I was flipping through TV last week and I came upon a show on TLC that made me stop. I was shocked to learn that Trailer Park: Welcome to Myrtle Manor is in its third season. First Question: Are these people for real? Second Question: How have not known about this hilarity until now? So I headed online for more information about the show, which seems to be a cross between Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Roseanne and Party Down South.
From the show’s press site, I gleaned:
“America’s favorite trailer park is back and filled with plenty of gossip that’s hotter than the southern sun, romance that’s steamer than the humidity, and drama thicker than grandma’s banana pudding.”
Also, Hotter than the southern sun. Really? I’m sure Myrtle Beach gets warm, but I am sure a place like Phoenix has got you beat in both face-melting heat and gossip. Have you heard some of the rumors floating around Sun City? They’re positively steamy. Also, drama thicker than Grandma’s banana pudding? Now that’s some thick drama — it can suspend slices of fruit!! Thankfully the drama’s not meatier than your Granpappy’s brisket, or we’d have riots in the street based on the show’s world-changing dramaz. Let’s put these southern tropes aside and talk about things even more outlandish, the folks.
A full list of the cast is below, but here are a few of the highlights:
1) The show’s 16 named characters amounts to way too many people to be on a TV show! They’re like the Duggars! Can’t we give them all names that start with the letter “J” and we can refer to them as “Hey you, Jasper, Johnny or Josiah.” The cast photo was so wide that to get it to fit on the page, I had to shrink it so much that everyone looks like they’re on microfilm. (‘member microfilm? If not, ask one of the residents of Myrtle Manor; they’ll find some for ‘ya)
2) I had to read one of the character’s name at least a dozen times before I realized it wasn’t “Miss Piggy.”
3) When I read that “Bandit”’s occupation is “model,” I nearly choked on my banana pudding. To quote a snarky Snickers commercial, “What are you modeling, gloves?”
4) This is the cast photo. I am sorry it is microscopic.
In tonight’s episode, “Full Moonshine,” tensions flare in Amanda’s trailer, forcing her roommates to spend the night under the stars, much to the chagrin of resident security guard, Marvin. Meanwhile, new parents Jared and Chelsey adjust to their lives back at the park. When Jared tries to spice up his marriage, will Chelsey be wooed or will the new love of her life be too much of a distraction? Cecil decides to make a divisive executive decision by hiring a management consultant, but the consultant’s identify will shock everyone in the park.
Let’s take a look at the show’s low-class, high LOLs in a preview of tonight.
I feel like I could recap an entire episode of this show using only emoji. And after watching it, I may be dumber, but at least I’m entertained.
Becky: The Trailer Park Landlord
Myrtle Manor has been in Becky’s family for generations and her father Cecil recently turned over the business to her. She loves working with her family and she’s not afraid of evicting people when they don’t pay their rent. Her motto is “NO PAY, NO STAY.”
Jeana: Becky’s Aunt
Jeana, who is Becky’s aunt and Cecil’s niece, serves as the narrator on the show. She is single with three children, and an avid motorcycle rider.
Cecil: Becky’s Father and Owner of Myrtle Manor
Cecil is supposed to be retired, but he loves to work. He enjoys spending time with his beautiful wife Barbara, and his wonderful family. Cecil came very close to selling the trailer park but at the 11th hour decided he wanted to keep it in the family.
Jared and Chelsey: Newlyweds and new Parents
After returning to their hometown in Ohio to welcome their new daughter into the world, Jared and Chelsey return to Myrtle Manor to raise newborn daughter Belamy at the beach; relying heavily on their trailer park family as they navigate being new parents.
Amanda: Georgia Peach
Amanda is a country girl with a wild free spirit, an animal lover and an amazing cook. She was a Weiner Girl and shared a trailer with best friend Chelsey. But now the Weiner Girl business is no more and Chelsey is busy rearing a baby with Jared, leaving Amanda in hopes of finding love and finding her path in life.
Gina: Co-owner of Tangulls (Myrtle Manor hair salon) and hairdresser
Gina is proud to be a true Myrtle Beach native. She has two daughters, a granddaughter, and she loves helping people when they have bad hair days. Although she doesn’t live in the park, Miss Gina is more than happy to have Tangulls serve as the rumor mill for the residents.
Roy: Co-owner of Tangulls (Myrtle Manor hair salon), hairdresser and former drag queen
Roy is an award winning hair designer and makeup artist. He is also at times a pageant coach and judge. The most important thing in his life is his family, and Braxton, his Chihuahua. He is also the first to admit that his lips and cheekbones are surgically enhanced, but his man boobs are all his.
Anne: Avid Gardener and Marvin’s Love Interest
Anne is a proud southern woman and has two sons, one of which, Taylor, moved out of Myrtle Manor. She is a former teacher, the majority of her career having been in Myrtle Beach. Anne loves gardening and, of course, a good laugh.
Marvin: Head of Security at Myrtle Manor
Marvin is this five-star trailer park’s head of security. Marvin’s job is to ensure the safety of the residents, direct traffic and help Miss Becky keep the rules enforced. Aside from these responsibilities, Marvin is an “S” scale bus and truck collector, loves listening to music, as well as making cologne/perfume aromatic fragrances. He also has a boogie board collection. And spends his days pursuing his love interest, “Miss Anne.”
Roger AKA ‘Bandit’: Jingle Writer and Model
Bandit is a song and jingle writer, and a freelancer in all trades. He is still single and looking for that woman to fall in love with. Bandit lives on a houseboat in Chelsey and Jared’s front yard and is never far away from being evicted from the trailer park for good.
Miss Peggy: The eyes and ears of Myrtle Manor
Miss Peggy is the oldest resident at Myrtle Manor, having lived in the trailer park for 31 years. Not your average Grandma, Miss Peggy reminds everyone you only live once. And while she may be the oldest of our gang, she can sure keep up with the youngest ones. She is not afraid to tell you what she is really thinking.
Brittney: Party Girl; Amanda’s ‘Frienemy’
Brittney considers herself a hardworking, life-sized Barbie with a crazy side. She has an obsession with glitter, nails, and the color pink. She and roommate Amanda have never gotten along.
Brock: Hot Myrtle Manor Handyman
Brock loves music and fitness and is the second oldest of five boys. Brock is always involved with at least one of the young ladies in the park.
Kimberly: Housekeeping Supervisor at Ocean Park Resort
A five-year resident of Myrtle Manor, Kim is a single mother with one son. She loves to drink, party, shop for wigs and spend time hanging out at Tangulls gossiping with Gina and Roy.
Marshall Roxanne: Manager – Village Creek Mobile Home Park
Roxanne, or Roxie, was born in Hartsville, South Carolina, but moved to Myrtle Beach when she was very young. Becky is her longtime rival. They instantly hated each other when they met riding the school bus together as kids. Roxie is a single mother with two children. She prides herself on running a trailer park where people can be themselves.
Trailer Park: Welcome to Myrtle Manor > TLC > Thursdays at 10pm ET/PT