It’s just another beautiful day in the Clark County Jail, brought to you by the well-intentioned but foolhardy cast of A&E’s 60 Days In.
In economic news today, Forbes reports that it’s still MOB: Money Over Bitches!!
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It’s Episode 4 of 60 Days In, and the show has really hit its stride with “Fight Face.”
I no longer care that Robert is probably an actor planted in the cast. [Update: Bingo!] I’m willing to put up with a little reality TV fakery just for the other inmates’ priceless responses to his jackassery.
Sensing trouble and the possibility that he might wake up with foreign objects crammed into uncomfortable places, Robert decides the best way to avert this is to put a towel over the surveillance camera above his cot. Stupidity may very well prove to be Robert’s greatest defensive weapon, as his actions completely baffle the other inmates.
We’ll check in on Robert’s downward spiral a little later.
There ain’t no party like an F-Pod party ’cause an F-Pod party don’t stop! Tami’s getting irritated by the Brick Squad sorority that stays up giggling and pillow fighting in their undies until 4am.
The Queen of Brick Squad is “Boston” Julia, the fiery-tempered redhead. I think I’m in love.
Last week, Tami and Barbra started forming a bond, and this week, they’re solid soul sisters. Tami is perceptive, and she realizes that Barbra is in the program, too. What gave it away? Their shared love of Monster Jam?
Tami does the gutsy thing and straight up asks Barbra if she’s in on the wink wink, you know … that thing with the stuff … Part of me feels like Tami is cheating. Part of me wishes Tami hadn’t blown her cover just so she could have some fun messing with Barbra’s mind.
Tami’s patience is tested by the Brick Squad and their awful high-school poetry. Tami should have the good sense just to ignore them, but she decides to confront Boston and the situation escalates to BTA: ‘Bout That Action Level 4.
The Minions calm Boston down and the BTA advisory is lowered back to Level 2. This Masshole lass Julia is a powder keg of passion, I tell you! Me likey!
Maryum is wise enough to sit back, eat her popcorn and enjoy the show.
Julia calls a secret meeting of the Brick Squad to determine how they’re totally going to get back at Tami and write mean things about her and pass the notes around to the other girls in class.
Zac is livin’ large in C-Pod. The other inmates trust Zac enough to try to sell drugs to him. You know someone really likes you when they want to get you high. When it comes to “trucking the pod,” D-Low is the man. But if you want a good overdose story, talk to my buddy Burt over here. Burt was once ripped out of his mind while doing kitchen duty or something, and the guy he was cooking with had to literally drag him out of there before he simmered himself.
Jeff finally enters the program. He would’ve been smart to stay out. First, Jeff skipped the part of the training in which they covered the types of shoes you shouldn’t wear in prison.
I am imagining Jeff’s thought process as he’s looking through his closet: “Oh, yeah. My least comfortable black dress shoes will be perfect for prison!” Jeff’s particularly anxious about someone stealing these shoes from him in jail. Not going to be an issue, dude.
What is going to be an issue is that Jeff has the most porous cover story. It’s got more holes in it than a horse trader’s mule. He’s in prison for stealing from his employer, but Jeff has no idea how much he stole or what the exact charge was against him.
I do feel bad for Jeff, though. He had a tough youth, and he was bullied until he was forced to drop out of high school. He works in department store security with aspirations of being a corrections officer. Probably don’t put this show on your audition reel, Jeff.
Isaiah is keeping it on the DL in jail. But some complications arise. Isaiah hasn’t been given his PIN yet. He hasn’t had any time in front of a judge. His cover story is that he’s been picked up on out-of-state warrants, and another inmate who thinks he’s Johnnie Cochran starts giving Isaiah legal advice and asking him questions that he’s totally unprepared for. Isaiah feels in over his head, and he uses the safe words — “I really miss good coffee” or something along those lines — to have the camera crew pull him out of the pod under the auspices of doing an interview.
The producers try to coach Isaiah and work on his story, but it’s unclear if he even wants to keep on doing this.
“Robert ignored every single thing we told him in training,” Capt. Scottie Maples says. Now Robert’s going away for a little while. Robert’s getting 30 days in Segregation — solitary confinement — for tampering with the cameras.
“No sense of time. No sense of nothing,” one inmate says of what it’s like doing time in The Hole. “There’s a clock on the wall over there. I don’t know if y’all noticed it, but it’s stuck on 10 o’clock. It’s been stuck on 10 o’clock for … seven years.”
It will be fun watching Robert’s descent into madness.
