“AAh! There’s a snake on me!” It’s not as catchy as Sheriff Woody’s “There’s a snake in my boot,” but it’ll have to do as this episode’s catchphrase.
I was very touched that some of my regular N&A friends were worried that my unflinching honesty got me in trouble. Never fear, Channel Guide Magazine loves me because of (and in spite of) my honesty. My husband and I were just enjoying a few kid-free (and computer-free) days celebrating his recent milestone birthday.
This week we’re heading to the Atlantida region of Honduras. Hola Honduras!
It’s gonna be hot. It’s gonna be humid. It’s gonna be wet.
And it’s Naked and Afraid, so we’re gonna see lots of stock footage shots of snakes. And maybe a few real ones.
Ready? Let’s go!
Bree Walker
Age: 30 years old
Occupation: Real Estate Agent
Current Residence: Denver, Colorado
Relationship Status: Single
Survival Skills: Shelter Building, Hunting and Gathering, Crafting Tools and Weapons, Navigation, Trapping, and Plant Identification
Bree grew up exploring nature, Her father, an avid adventurer himself, took her family around the world exploring new and exotic places and experiences, including the North Pole! Today, Bree credits her survival skills for her strength of character and confidence, spends her free time skiing, hiking, camping, biking, traveling, rock climbing, exploring, and adventuring. Bree mentions that she’s proudly sober and is totally adorable!!
Initial Primitive Survival Rating (PSR) 6.9 out of 10.0.
Clarence Gilmer II
Age: 35 years old
Occupation: Survival Instructor and Naturalist
Current Residence: No permanent residence, but originally from Baltimore, MD
Relationship Status: Single
Survival Skills: Shelter Building, Friction Fire, Tracking, Trapping
Clarence first learned about urban survival growing up in the dangerous streets of Baltimore. After a corporate career, Clarence used outdoor pursuits as a means of stress-management, and hiked the Appalachian Trail. In 2006, he quit corporate life and after a string of bizarre life-or-death incidents (including a sailboat crash in a tropical storm on his way to Brazil, getting robbed in Juarez, Mexico, and getting lost in the desert in Southern California) Clarence decided to up his survival skills, and learned from N&A alum Laura Zarra, and has become a well-trained survival expert. And when he’s not working as a survival expert, Clarence reveals that he is homeless. “I may no have a home, but I have a heart.”
This may be the first homeless survivalist on Naked and Afraid; how will his loner mentality work within a pair? But I gotta love his pink nail polish.
Clarence’s Initial Primitive Survival Rating (PSR) 7.2 out of 10.0.
Day 1
Bree and Clarence have barely gotten naked and it’s already raining. They throw together a shelter and it’s raining so hard that they can’t light a fire. They settle in for a cold and sleepless night.
It looks like they have a pot, a fire starter and a blade.
Day 2
The next morning, Clarence and Bree decide that their initial shelter was terrible, so Bree gets started building a shelter while Clarence tries to build fire. With a little zen-like patience, Clarence gets a fire going and when he spies a massive spider, he puts their inferno to use and have BBQd tarantula for lunch.
Then Bree wants a drink, and she wants it NOW. She’d rather drink hot lava than wait a minute more for the boiling water to cool. Clarence suggests a sensible way to cool the water, but it falls on deaf — and thirsty — ears. That night, Bree slumbers while Clarence tends the fire all night long.
Day 3
The next morning, Clarence is grumpy, but works tirelessly to make his own shelter because he’d rather sleep alone.
That night, they call their goodnights, Walton-style.
That night, Clarence is awoken by a loud growl that is very close. Very, very close. So close that it’s coming from him. It’s the first time that Clarence has ever heard his tummy growl! That’s adorably embarrassing.
Day 4
The next morning, Clarence catches a tiny eyelash viper. A while later, Clarence’s tummy revolts from the snake supper and while he deals with intestinal unpleasantries, Bree is on fire duty. Impatient Bree simply scoops an armful of firewood onto the fire and heads on to her next task. And if her next task was setting Clarence’s shelter on fire, she’s succeeded. The most hilarious thing about incinerating the shelter was that she was busy talking to the camera while it was going up in flames behind her! LOL. Silly millennials; they’re always talking to cameras. “I hope the fire’s still going,” says Clarence as he wanders up to camp. But when he sees that his partner has destroyed his shelter, he just rolls his eyes and builds a new one. This time, it’s much farther away from his partner.
Bree is bummed that her partner wants nothing to do with her. But she seems like someone who is doggedly optimistic, so she’s not gonna give up on winning Clarence yet.
Day 5
Clarence is plagued by more tummy troubles.
Day 9
Bree makes gumbo-limbo tea for her partner.I checked out this interesting website for a few of the uses of Gumbo Limbo tree, it’s pretty fascinating and I don’t think this is the first time this tree has been used on N&A. I like that Bree’s using skills that she’s learned as part of her recovery to think about Clarence’s needs. The tea is a sweet peace offering and Clarence is really touched.
That night, they sleep in their separate shelters and when a monsoon hits, they hunker separately for the next few days. Clarence is toasty in his mini-shelter, but Bree shivers in her tree house made for two.
Day 13
Clarence teaches Bree how to make a debris shelter so they can sleep closer together. Bree is thrilled to reestablish closeness with her partner, but doesn’t seem to notice that she’s moving from a nice, elevated shelter to one that is basically a pile of leaves. I love warmth a much as the next person, but I do not want to sleep on the ground. And that night, a snake slithers on top of Bree and she totally loses her S@#$. It’s no surprise that she doesn’t sleep a wink. Clarence doesn’t help things when he tells her that it was definitely poisonous. That’s one of those statements that you keep to yourself until after you’ve killed it.
Day 14
The next morning, Bree taps out. I am just as stunned as you are; I thought she was totally kidding. I get that there was a snake in your shelter, but you’re in a jungle! It would be weird if there wasn’t a snake in your shelter. When Bree asks Clarence if he’s going to be okay surviving on his own, he reminds her, “I am a one wolf wolfpack.” I think Clarence could have tried to keep his partner in the game a little harder; he didn’t seem supportive at all.
Clarence builds a river-side lean-to in hopes of staying away from snakes. But his night along the river is his worst one yet, because mosquitoes eat him all night long.
Even though Clarence’s backside has been used as a mosquito buffet, I think this latest shelter wins this the episode the greatest number of shelters built in a single episode of Naked and Afraid. Let’s count them:
- The first night shelter
- Bree’s elevated platform
- Clarence’s highly flammable bachelor pad
- Clarence’s debris shelter
- Bree’s debris shelter, AKA the House of Slitherin
- Clarence’s lean-to on the mosquito coast
Day 16
In the morning, Clarence sees that his river-side shelter has washed away. That’s okay, Clarence is used to throwing up shelters in 5 minutes, so it’s not a huge loss.
Day 18
Clarence has realized that being alone is lonely. And he entertains himself (and everyone at home) with many verses of “Amazing Grace.” It’s not amazing singing.
For the next few days, Clarence lies around. The montage is as boring as you’d guess.
Day 20
When Clarence hints that he wants to tap out, I honestly started yelling “No! It’s only one more day!!” thankfully, the lone wolf’s sensitive canine ears hear my pleas and he doesn’t tap out.
Day 21
Clarence is happy to leave his “snake coffin,” and has realized that he’s done with being alone. I’m amazed that he hasn’t eaten anything since day 3. It doesn’t seem like he’s tried to find any food since day 3 either.
While doing his extraction hike, Clarence comes across an amazing waterfall. He decides that his only option is to leap into the pool below the falls, despite not knowing the water’s depth. The mom in me yells, “This is how people get paralyzed!” But much like my children, Clarence ignores me and leaps into the fray anyway. Thankfully, he’s not injured and dog paddles to safety. Before long, Clarence is safe in a yellow truck and not a moment too soon. The exhausted man is running on fumes. “This challenge is over, but the adventure never ends,” he says.
Because Bree tapped out after only two weeks, her PSR falls from 6.9 to 4.8 out of 10.0.
After three weeks in Honduras, Clarence lost a whopping 40 pounds and his PSR rose from 7.2 to 7.9 out of 10.0. I think this is generous — he didn’t die, but did he really survive?
This is another episode that leaves me underwhelmed. Clarence made it for 21 days and that’s a terrific accomplishment. And he has great skill in building shelters. But was he prepared to do any food collection?
Naked and Afraid XL
This week we learned the identities of three more survivalists who will attempt the 40 day challenge.
Artist Steven Hall, Jr., who we met in this season’s Alabama premiere. He says, “I’m gonna make it, or you’re gonna have to drag me out of here!”
Angel from our recent adventure in Nicaragua. Yay!!! He was so sweet!!
Ryan Holt from the Everglades! I loved Ryan; he was such an outstanding survivalist. He’ll bring his amazing attitude, his giant beard and his fresh “thrive” tattoo to South Africa.
I gotta say, while this season of Naked and Afraid has been spotty, I am pretty excited for Naked and Afraid XL. It looks like a pretty good group. I’m excited to learn who’ll be revealed next week, and I’m hoping for a few wildcards to bring drama and/or antics as their survival item.