Articles by Ruth Boulet

by Ruth Anne Boulet For some reason Katy Perry’s Hot And Cold is selected as a group sing. Yeah, in what universe does a Katy Perry song ever become a group number? In the American Idol universe, that’s where! The choreography involves a lot of sitting for the guys, and walking to couches for the girls. It ends with a chipper ‘Hot And Your Cold!’ Up with People! And I’ll admit it right now, I bet the whole group was like ‘Yes! Scott’s in our section! Sweet, we’re going to get easy choreography!’ Ok, I would be thinking that if […]

First off, my apologies for missing last week’s episodes. I’m directing and stage managing a show here and we opened last week. I did, however, get to catch Normund Gentile. Fabulous. Shame on you, America, for not putting him through. So now on to this week’s performances. Von Smith — You’re All I Need To Get By by Marvin Gaye In the death slot is Von Smith, a.k.a. Screamy McScreamy. In his ‘package’ he discusses the screaming label and how he doesn’t want to be that screaming guy. Ok, Von, prove it. And he actually does. Von tones down the […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet Group number! It’s a super cheesy rendition of “I’m Yours!” Jackie is a spaz. Casey keeps trying to elbow Tatiana out of the frame. It ends with the outstretched hand reaching to the sky. Craptacular! Most of the show is taken up by crappy Ryan torture/filler – asking the contestants how they did, asking the judges how the contestants did, looking at family members to see how their kid did. Casey and Stephen get the boot pretty quickly. Alexis shouldn’t have worn a hat. We can’t see her face at all. She makes it into the […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet Jackie Tohn – A Little Less Conversation What. The. Hell. Jackie selects an outfit that was ugly in 1985, and it’s still ugly today. I can hear Stacey London in my head screaming about the skin-tight leggings and high top shoes. Jackie looks like a cross between Minnie Mouse and Janet Jackson in her Rhythm Nation years. I’m also hearing my co-worker Bex muttering about punching her in the throat. Of the judges, Simon speaks the truth. He doesn’t think America is going to like her. I see it two ways – either she’ll do well […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet We’re finally getting to the end of the American Idol audition process, and it’s none too soon because, is it just me, or has this season been a bit boring? Maybe it’s because I was expecting more of a shakeup in the format of the show than I actually got. Tuesday we get rehashes of people we’ve met before. Which I suppose is a nice thing, since I can remember in seasons past being introduced to contestants in the first round, only to have them fall off the face of the earth during Hollywood week. This […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet Hollywood week is about the meltdowns. Ah, the meltdowns. Folks who felt good about their abilities now completely break down in the presence of others who are just as confident about their abilities. And seeing Paula Abdul in bondage wear with the chains from her neck to her wrists. Except for that Norman guy. I mean Nick. He’s the wild & crazy guy who can actually sing. And he actually makes it through to round two. All right, American Idol. I’m game. Let’s see where you take this one. Bikini Girl is finally up. Man, I […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet We visit 4 cities this week, and to me one contestant stands out. He stands out because he claims he can live without physics. I’m here to tell you, George, that in fact, you cannot live without physics. Seriously. Don’t believe me? Then read the words of my American Idol, Neil deGrasse Tyson. See? No physics = no people = no American Idol. Physics comes first, George. Physics comes first. If the laws of physics stopped applying, we may all fly off into space & have our heads blow up like Homer & Bart Simpson when […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet This week’s auditions take our intrepid American Idol team to San Francisco, CA and Louisville, KY. One city known for its uniqueness; another for a 2-minute horse race & big hats. These locations should bring a nice blend of crazies and talent. Why is a girl with the psychotic laugh from Puerto Rico auditioning in San Francisco? Tatiana wants it more than anyone has ever wanted it. Ever. She brought the judges a ‘gift’ of her press kit. She actually sounds ok. I expected her to be horrendous. Simon, though, hates her and she replies by […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet (aka WindUpDoll, aka Sexual Chai) First off, let me apologize for my tardiness. In a vain attempt to salvage my sanity, I’ve decided to consolidate my Idol blogging to once a week. So don’t despair — I’m still here, and still watching Idol. I would also like to apologize for the lack of videos in this blog. I don’t know if American Idol has come down on folks uploading videos to YouTube or what, but there’s a definite lack of clips from the shows on the Interwebs. I hope that changes as the season goes on. […]