Articles by Ryan Berenz

About Ryan Berenz

Member of the Television Critics Association. Charter member of the Ancient and Mystic Society of No Homers. Squire of the Ancient & Benevolent Order of the Lynx, Lodge 49, Long Beach, Calif. Costco Wholesale Gold Star Member since 2011.

My Name Is Earl: Stole A Motorcycle

April 11, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan Earl is still in a coma, and his mind is still playing out The Hickeys sitcom. In it, Earl mistakes Billie’s gynecologist for a gigolo, and Billie gives birth to Earl’s child — who, this time, is actually his own color and looks like him. The Hickeys will hopefully be canceled very soon. So while Earl is comatose, Randy is going to cross off some list items so Earl stays in karma’s favor. Using Earl’s drool, he selects “Stole a Motorcycle.” A while ago, while out on a “crime walk,” Earl and Randy found a motorcycle with […]

G4 Is "420 Friendly"

April 10, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan There are going to be some high times on G4, as the network celebrates 420 on April 20 (4/20!) with a marathon of movies and shows involving the cannabis culture. (Here’s some background on 420.) Highlights include a special episode of Code Monkeys and the Season 2 premiere of The Block. I’m already getting the munchies. Disclaimer: Of course, we cannot emphasize enough that smoking marijuana is very, very bad. So stop it. 420 On G4 (4/20) (all times ET/PT) G4 Movies: Half Baked 1pm & 8pm — The hilarious adventure of three lovable party buds as […]

My Name Is Earl: I Won't Die With A Little Help From My Friends

April 6, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan After a brief reintroduction from NBC President and CEO Jeff Zucker, we get back to Earl. (Go here if you need a refresher of the previous episode that aired way back when.) When Earl was young and wanted to escape family turmoil, he used to get lost in a world of TV sitcoms. Now, unconscious on the street, he’s doing it again, dreaming that he’s married to Billie in The Hickeys idyllic sitcom land. The sitcom isn’t particularly interesting (and hardly funny), though things that happen in reality cause things to happen in the sitcom, like the […]

Bobby Knight, Bill Parcells And Tony La Russa On ESPN "Sunday Conversation," Followed By Apocalypse

March 28, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Cubicle QB If this photo doesn’t frighten the bejesus out of you, then you may just have enough huevos to tune in to ESPN’s SportsCenter on Sunday at 10:30am and 11pm ET for the “Sunday Conversation” featuring three weird, crotchety old coaches who all happen to be buddies — Bobby Knight, Bill Parcells and Tony La Russa. The three will discuss a variety of topics including their friendships, coaching philosophies and how players have changed over the years — and occasionally yell obscenities at host Rece Davis, who we’re pretty sure cries at some point during the session. […]

Jericho Nuke Notes: Patriots And Tyrants

March 26, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan Jericho, Season 2, Episode 7, “Patriots and Tyrants”: Jake and Hawkins have one final opportunity to prove to the independent Texas government that they hold the evidence to one of the biggest conspiracies in history … but first they’ll have to get past the Cheyenne government. What we kind of suspected was officially announced this week by CBS: The March 25th episode of Jericho will be the series finale. Without question, there are passionate viewers watching this program; we simply wish there were more. We thank an engaged and spirited fan base for keeping the show alive […]

NCAA Tournament Blog: Second Round

March 22, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Cubicle QB Saturday’s Games Some more good action on Saturday’s second-round games. Despite coach Trent Johnson getting ejected for two technical fouls, #3 Stanford rallied to beat #6 Marquette in OT. My alma mater, #3 Wisconsin, advances to the Sweet 16 after a convincing beatdown on #11 Kansas State. #1 Kansas made easy work of #8 UNLV, and #3 Xavier took out #6 Purdue. Thanks to a commanding second half, #7 West Virginia knocked out #2 Duke, and there is much rejoicing. My only regret about Duke losing is that it didn’t happen two days ago. (Yeah, it’s […]

NCAA Tournament Blog: First Round

March 21, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Welcome to our NCAA Tournament blog, also called “The Legend of Lance Hardwood.” Lance Hardwood is my office pool bracket name. Lance Hardwood might be nothing more than a legend soon, though, as he’s tied for last with 12 of the 16 games picked correctly. Fortunately, the damage was all contained to the first round, and Lance Hardwood still has plenty of time to make a run. If you’ve been picking straight according to the seedings, then your cowardice has mostly been rewarded. There were no upsets in the early Thursday games. I picked several: #9 Kent State over #8 […]

Jericho Nuke Notes: Sedition

March 19, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan Jericho, Season 2, Episode 6, “Sedition”: Following the Rangers’ decision to take justice into their own hands, Major Beck goes to extreme measures to prove he’s in complete control of the town, while Hawkins receives a call from Chavez telling him that it’s time to transport the bomb. The Rangers are in hiding and Major Beck is on the warpath after the killing of Goetz. Jake surrenders, taking the fall for Stanley. Jake offers himself up in exchange for amnesty for the other Rangers, but Beck will have none of it. Jake is hooded and taken off […]

Jericho Nuke Notes: Termination For Cause

March 12, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan Jericho, Season 2, Episode 5, “Termination for Cause”: Jake and the Rangers square off in a battle for survival against Goetz and Ravenwood, while one of the Rangers takes a course of action that will alter his life forever. We’re down to the last three episodes of the season — probably of the series — so we should be getting all sorts of revelations and resolution, right? Wrong. At least they’re killing off characters. Stanley’s sister Bonnie is dead, killed by Goetz and Ravenwood. Mimi is shot but still alive, and is transported to the hospital. Goetz […]

FSN “Sport Science” Class Back In Session

March 10, 2008 Ryan Berenz

FSN is returning Sport Science for six new episodes beginning March 16. Here’s the rundown of the latest installments: March 16 — Field Warriors. Host John Brenkus and his team of scientists examine the most dramatic injuries ever suffered in a sporting event and get first-person accounts of the athletes who survived the injuries that force people to look away. Testing pain, empathy, blood flow and broken bones, this episode also showcases an analysis of the horrific injury suffered by goalie Clint Malarchuk, whose jugular vein was slashed by a skate. Special guests: Malarchuk, MMA star Bas Rutten, Dolphins LB […]