Dance Moms recaps from Channel Guide Magazine

“Dance Moms” episode 24 recap: Kaya-yi!

August 29, 2012 Lori Acken

And so it came. The dreaded Dance Moms Episode 24: Since I am pretty sure that Christi had no idea how this thing would edit out, I’m not sure if she was warning me about the preposterousness of Abby inserting a kid who walked in off the street smack-dab into the competition team in time for a trip to L.A.; or the kid’s swear-word-loving, afro-sporting mom whose interactions with the Pitt Crew afford us one uncomfortable moment after the next over issues of race and social class and sexuality and the pinnacle price of stage-mothering; or … what. But in […]

“Dance Moms” recap: Light My Ire

August 21, 2012 Lori Acken

Welcome to the very special No Competition Edition of the Dance Moms blog. However shall we have us a pyramid next week without a competition? How ever? Oh wait. We mostly do this by Mom behavior, not kid behavior, anyway. Problem solved. After happy kudos to the group for beating Cathy’s various assemblages of Apples at Starbound Nationals — a feat that results in this awesome win-face from Abby — we launch right on into this week’s pyramid. Bottom of the bottom is Paige – She’s injured. Well, and Brooke didn’t make Abby mad this week. Maddie — She said […]

“Dance Moms” recap: Boys Rule, Chicks Cruel

August 15, 2012 Lori Acken

Well, I was kinda hoping we might start this week’s outing by addressing why Abby went outer limits at duet-winner Chloe at the end of last week’s episode, but I guess not. And given that we’re chugging ever closer the end of Season 2, I should really stop grasping for a plotline to cling to like the Maddie-Chloe rivalry of simpler days gone by. And yet I cannot. Abby’s still speaking remedial French, though. And she seems downright tickled at how Starbound Philly went. So whatever the “Sneaky Sneaky” meltdown that sent Chloe fleeing in tears was about, I guess c’est […]

“Dance Moms” recap: French Diss

August 8, 2012 Lori Acken

Or … “The one in which I find out what that ‘Alouette’ song I learned in Girl Scouts really means.” But first, did everyone come through two weeks with no new Dance Moms okay? Everybody good? Catch a little Olympics action? Or … whatever else they air on Tuesday nights? And now we’re back, but Paige and Kelly aren’t. Turns out, they’re at the doctor for the foot Paige crunched backstage at last episode’s competition in Lancaster. Abby uses this information as a teaching moment: The girls have to understand that their bodies are their instruments. Or Abby’s instruments, anyway. Little talented tools […]

“Dance Moms” star Abby Lee Miller gets new Lifetime dance-competition show

August 6, 2012 Lori Acken

Dance Moms fans, if you’re wondering what you’re going to do when Season 2 wraps up this fall, Lifetime just provided the answer. And it’s a doozy. The network has picked up a 10-episode run of Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition, in which our favorite dance-teaching diva Abby Lee Miller will join Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin and dancer/choreographer Richard Jackson in choosing one of the country’s most talented young dancers to receive a $100,000 cash prize and a scholarship to the Young Dancer Program at the Joffrey Ballet School in New York. (Yes, my fellow Chloe Lukasiak fans, I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking […]

“Dance Moms” recap: Jill Is Going To Cost Me A Lot Of Money In Therapy

July 24, 2012 Lori Acken

Boy howdy, do things get rolling quickly on this little crankfest! I haven’t even come close to maxing out my admiration for the drama mama’s fashion choices when the studio door opens and evil strolls in. I mean, Jill. Sporting Linda Evans’ Dallas hairdo. And another pon-shirt. And approximately half her body weight in eye makeup. The Ladies of the Loft are appalled! See? Appalled! Jill is undaunted. She wants back in at the ALDC and she doesn’t care what she has to do to get there. Including barging in on Pyramid time, causing the Abster to declare her officially […]

“Dance Moms”: Here’s Brooke’s missing “Paint The Pictures” solo

July 19, 2012 Lori Acken

Dance Moms fans, by now you’ve heard the rumblings that the show’s producers took a few liberties with how the results of the teen solo division actually played out at Tuesday’s episode’s Starbound competition. Namely, that they kinda left out the fact that Brooke performed a solo at all, not to mention that it was she who won second place, while Payton actually came in 7th. Perhaps to assuage the testy masses, Lifetime posted this video of a truly breathtaking Brooke performing the “Paint The Pictures” solo that we should supposedly have seen first at Energy Dance in Chicago, had Kelly […]

“Dance Moms” recap: Drop Dead, Diva!

July 18, 2012 Lori Acken

So what’s the bets for tonight, Dance Moms Nation? Will Paige be at the bottom of the pyramid for performing her mother’s choreography over Abby Lee’s? Will Jill and Kendall reappear at ALDC? Perhaps with another piece of furniture for Abby’s lobby as an olive branch? Will Abby Lee be wearing a necklace with even more crap on it than last time? We should really find out. * UPDATE: Find out more about Abby Lee’s new series Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition and see a first pic from her Aug. 12 Drop Dead Diva appearance! Abby’s in awfully good spirits for pyramid time, […]

Lifetime announces new docu-series “Prom Queens”

July 12, 2012 Lori Acken

Girlie-reality lovers, what’s better than a Tuesday night with Lifetime’s Dance Moms? A Tuesday night with Lifetime’s Dance Moms and Prom Queens! The network is planning to follow its dance-and-drama docuseries smash with the brand-new true-life series about teen girls from eight American high schools vying to become the queen of their respective proms. The show will document the extreme lengths to which these ladies — and often their equally hell-bent mothers — will go to achieve the pinnacle of high-school social superstardom. Prom Queens is created by the folks who brought you The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Beverly […]

“Dance Moms” recap: Ringers ’Round The Apples

July 11, 2012 Lori Acken

Now, there ya go! THAT was an episode! We had villains we love to hate, villains we hate to love, drama that made me clutch my head and holler “ahhhmahhh gahhhd, that’s so fake,” a tablecloth/poncho for a shirt, drinks with Kelly and Christi, and my Welcome to Ohio sign (John R. Kasich, Governor). Welcome back, my Dance Moms of yore! Welcome back! Now stay. Staaaaay. Let’s get the business end of things outta the way. • Miss the episode? Watch it here for free. This week, we will be traveling to the land of Kasich and Candy Apples, and, […]