Dance Moms

Or Dance Moms recap: The Pony, The Swim and A Jerk. Again with the decisions! Whatever you want to call it, this week’s episode begins with Abby blaming last week’s loss at Fire & Ice Elite on the girls, rather than the fact that they did her choreography flawlessly despite having to do it in their judge-mortifying, fan-dancin’ underpants. Which is everyone’s fault but the girls’ and that’s a fact. The pyramid is a complex affair with lots of qualifiers. Bottom of the bottom is Big Mac, who, says Abby, should act “bigger and longer.” A perfectly zen Mac looks like […]

Well, things certainly look happier and more cooperative. Maybe it’s the balmy air and sunshine. Or maybe it’s an illusion. Lifetime has released the first pictures from its upcoming spinoff, Dance Moms: Miami, which will premiere April 3 at 10:30 ET following the 90-minute spring finale of the network’s runaway train wreck hit Dance Moms. Based at the sultry south Florida city’s Stars Dance Studio, Dance Moms: Miami follows the triumphs and travails of the school’s owners, renowned contemporary dance teacher Victor Smalley (an instructor on Season 6 of So You Think You Can Dance) and choreographer Angel Armas as they train a diverse group […]

I actually lost sleep last night thinking up titles for this episode’s blog, for there was so much from which to choose — not the least of which of was Cathy proclaiming her husband “The Sausage King of Canton.” “My Beef With Jerkies” was a close runner-up. But for all the hoopla with “Chloe In The Dried-Meat Cat Suit” — easily Cathy’s biggest vengeance victory yet — it was pretty hard to ignore the “I See London, I See France-tastic”-ness of those “Topless Showgirl” outfits Abby dreamed up for the group dance. Which — if you’ve been watching Dance Moms […]

Dance Moms fans, if you’re counting down the episodes and fearing the fast-approaching finale, take heart. You won’t have to go without for long. In fact, you won’t have to go without at all. Lifetime announced today that its newest member of the Dance Moms franchise, Dance Moms: Miami, will premiere April 3 at 10:30pm ET, immediately following the 90-minute spring finale of Dance Moms. • DANCE MOMS music guide According to the network, “Dance Moms: Miami will go behind-the-scenes at Miami-based Stars Dance Studio, where the school’s owners and renowned contemporary dance instructors Victor Smalley (pictured at left) and […]

Does this mean we can be done with shows about Jill now? That Kendall can dance, happily, supported, victorious and unhindered by her mother’s ego? That Nia can dance happily and supported, victorious and unpunished for her mother’s work-life balance? That this show can actually become an eensy-peensy bit about dance again instead of the low blows of high-heeled moms? I’m guessing no on all accounts, but a girl can dream. Because I want my old Dance Moms back. The ones who ultimately played yakky but reasonably harmless second fiddles to their joyfully dancing daughters. I want to believe that at least […]

First of all, let me say how thrilled I am to be wrong in saying last week that Paige would not be at the top of this week’s pyramid. Paige earned her spot, and Abby rightly gave it to her. Then let me say how not pleased I am to be right that she would be made to pay in some regard for winning last week’s competition, which we’ll get into more in a bit. Suffice it to say for now that Abby’s ferocious vitriol toward a wisp of a girl whom she knows has one nervous-wreck cell for every […]

We learned something right out of the gate, didn’t we, Dance Moms Nation?! We learned that the floors in Abby Lee’s studios cost a whopping $68,000. Thus, like the dancers upon them, they are precious and heels are not allowed. Naturally, Jill shows up in gray suede boots with not-allowed heels. It’s OK, she tells Abby Lee because she’s standing on her toes. Rules dribble off Jill like water off a duck, but Abby lets it slide for now,  ‘cause she’s got stuff on her mind. Namely this week’s competition, which is Dance Explosion in Secaucus, NJ. It will be riddled […]