Dance Moms

And noooow … the end is heeeeere… and so we faaaaace …the final curtain. And at least one reunion show. But right now, it’s Season 3 finale time, Dance Moms nation! We’re in the Big Easy for Nationals and Abby — sporting what looks like a fresh, and super-cocoalious, spray tan — wastes no time getting to the pyramid. Paige is bottom of the bottom because she is Paige and also for not tucking her knees tighter in the group dance. Next is Nia, again for the usual offense — sloppy feet. Then Brooke for a wayward headpiece. Then Kendall. […]

I miss the Apples, Dance Moms nation. I do. I can’t help it. And I’m not sorry, either. Because the comedy quotient goes up about four zillion percent when they’re at least lurking about the episode, and I like a few laughs with my Dance Moms. Sigh. Thank you for listening. I feel better. Now let’s get on with the recap of tonight’s Apple-free episode, Do-Si-Do And Do-Si-Don’t. • RELATED: Channel Guide recaps Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition Season 2 episode 1 Since the group dance and Asia’s solo got first place — so who cares about anyone else — Abby […]

Another Tuesday, another Dance Moms, Dance Moms nation. Is everybody getting geared up for next week’s start of Season 3 finale-palooza? Any Abby’s Ultimate fans spot judge Richy Jackson sitting next to Gaga at the VMAs — or did you flee your television sets at the sight of Miley twerking and tongue-waving before that could even happen? In any case, I hope you put on your lucky socks and grabbed your rabbit’s foot, because  … (Don’t be sad, little Ohio sign, John R. Kasich, Governor. It’s only for an episode. Could be two. But you’ll always be the sign I […]

Another day, another holler, Dance Moms nation. And this week’s adventures begin with a trip to Abby’s house for Melissa, who apparently is so much like family that she can just waltz right in. Catching Abby like so: Abby explains that mother Maryen’s nurses are coming today and that even though she looks just fine on the outside, she’s actually in a great deal of pain on the inside. This makes Melissa sniffly over the Miller women’s collective bravery. Abby says she isn’t sure if she will make it to the studio today or not, but Melissa — who never […]

Welcome back, Dance Moms Nation. Did everyone get over any lingering “Stuffed Baby is coming to get me!” dreams? Good. Because it’s a brand new day at the ALDC … except the A-L portion seems to have gone missing. Like incommunicado. Gone-zo. So gone-zo she’s not even taking Gia’s calls. Melissa says she heard Maryen Lorrain is deathly ill, which could explain Abby’s absence. Even so, it’s not like her to just go completely MIA. Well, yes, it kind of is, what with that whole Abby’s Ultimate thing, but … anyway. Holly says it’s just plain unprofessional not to show […]