Survivor

The “previously on … Survivor” recap that starts the show is mostly about the evilness of Bad Russell. You can practically hear Jeff Probst salivate over what a great villain Bad Russell is. Bad Russell (who I’ll now refer to as B’Russell, almost like he’s a Belgian city or a sprout) tells the camera that he had fun at the last Tribal Council, and is excited that Marisa and her “strong mind” have been voted out. He then tells Betsy, in a manner more matter-of-fact than threatening, that she made a huge mistake by not trusting him and by voting […]

After seeing the cool nature shots of waterfalls, volcanic mountains and crashing waves, we hear some impressions the players have formed about each other while rowing in. One woman (Marisa, we find out later) says she wouldn’t want to mess with the man she describes as a pit bull (Russell, we find out later. Actually, there are two Russells, so I’ll call this one “Bad Russell”). The tribes, Galu and Foa Foa, must each elect a tribe leader. People vote, describing others by their clothes, gender, race or, when describing Non-Bad Russell, a resemblance to Lennox Lewis. Non-Bad Russell (hereafter […]

Stephen is worried about how the previous Tribal Council may have looked to the jury — J.T. came off as the loyal ally for voting against Erinn, whereas Stephen came off as the one who backstabbed Coach. Stephen and Taj know that J.T. may be impossible to beat in the Final 2, and they start wondering, “If J.T. loses immunity, dot dot dot.”

J.T. and Stephen tell Coach that Debbie, his No. 1 ally, was gunning for him, but they couldn’t tell him they were voting her out, because they thought he wouldn’t believe them. Coach responds with stunned gratitude — they had all launched a counterattack against Debbie to save him! — and he thinks the game is still being played with truth and honesty. Coach does, however, realize he’s no longer in control of this game, and he tells J.T. and Stephen it’d be awesome to vote off Erinn next and then Taj. He asks who they’re thinking of sending to […]

[First off, as a Milwaukee-area resident, I’m obligated, if not compelled by mayoral proclamation, to wish you a Happy Danny Gokey Day. Today’s his American Idol homecoming, and I’d thought about going to his appearance at the FOX 6 Studios that I pass on my way to work, but I didn’t make it. I did, however, take several pictures of the coverage on my TV this morning, and snapped two blind drive-by pictures through my car window as I passed the station, so I feel like I participated. We now rejoin my Survivor recap, already in progress …] … and […]

After blindsiding Tyson last episode, J.T. tells Coach and Debbie that he didn’t tell them about the plan because he didn’t want to make them break their word to Tyson. I had thought Coach would go ballistic — if Brendan was the dragon and Sierra was the dragon’s droppings, then what must J.T. and Stephen be, after destroying Coach’s beloved and much-bandied Warrior Alliance? “Bold and brilliant,” says Coach. “No hard feelings.” Well, that was a bit of a letdown. But rest assured, there will be some classic Coach before the episode is over.

Now that Brendan, Sierra’s only ally, has been voted off, Sierra knows she’s the next to go. She tells the tribe, “Let’s just try to make these next couple of days congenial,” which apparently involves her having many painful conversations with everyone as she explains why she made the “bad decision” to vote against Coach. Sierra and Coach talk, and he tells her she could’ve written down anyone else who doesn’t have the character that he has, which is superior because he’s never lied to anyone. (I’ll have to watch the tape again to see if Coach told Brendan he […]

The episode begins with a Joe-less tribe sitting around the campfire at night. The mood is quiet, or, as Coach puts it, there was “this funk that was permeating the camp.” So he tells ’em a story to show them “no matter how bad it gets in your life, there’s always something that’s gonna make it much worse.” (Note to self: If Coach writes a motivational book, don’t buy it.) He tells of the time he was dropped off by a military helicopter in the Amazon to go kayaking (by himself — National Geographic wanted to come, but he said, […]

The Jalapao members are concerned about the expected merge, seeing as their tribe is down to four members. Or, as Taj puts it, “We’re just ‘Jala’; we done lost ‘Pao.’” Over on Timbira, Coach is centering himself with stretchy, meditative stuff, which is accompanied (just for the viewing audience, I assume) by epic music and thunder. The refocused Coach massages his tribemates, and Erinn likes this new Coach better than the bean-obsessed Coach of yore. The tree mail message is unclear whether the tribes will be going to a challenge or a merge, but Taj likes the mention of a […]