Survivor

After last episode’s hilarious/sad/unnecessary trick of making Randy think he had a real immunity idol, Bob lets the tribe know he’s irritated with how much they took gleeful pleasure in needlessly belittling Randy. Sugar tells Bob she’s really sorry, but she tells the camera that she’s not sorry at all, because Randy dug his own get-duped-by-a-fake-idol grave. Corinne and Sugar then argue about how they treat people — Sugar had previously given Corinne advice on how it’s not nice to talk behind people’s backs, so Corinne’s point to Sugar is now “and you’re the one giving lessons to me?” Sugar […]

Finally! One of those Survivor episodes you’ll remember beyond this season. A year from now, you’ll still have the conversation: “Remember the one where Bob gave Randy his fake idol?” “Aw, yeah — that was classic!” “It wasn’t really necessary, since Randy was going to be kicked off anyway.” “True, that. But still — classic!” With Charlie voted out last week, the power on Nobag (that’s the name of the merged tribe, remember? It cracks me up every time) has shifted to Kenny and Crystal, and Randy and Corinne know their chances are pretty slim. Bob tells Sugar that he […]

Crystal, Susie and Kenny are pleased with their ousting of Marcus, and Bob knows that if there’s not a merge, he’ll probably be history, too … even though he teaches science. It’s a little joke, he explains. America grins. The Fang tribe can’t make fire and doesn’t have any rice, so they’re hoping that tree mail brings news of a merge, or, in the words of Corinne, “something merge-esque” so she can see Marcus again. But no, the tree mail just brings news of the reward challenge, which Marcus won’t even be at. Corinne and Charlie are shocked to see […]

Kota senses a merge coming and discusses the plan for the Kota Six to mow down the Fang Four. They tell Susie that her anti-Corinne statements have made them question whether she would turn against them, and she assures them that no, she won’t sell them out. And then she tells the camera about how powerful she feels. That’s how a lot of this episode went — Susie saying that it’s in her best interest to stick with her alliance … or do the opposite. Corinne, who describes herself as an extremely vindictive person (you don’t say …), remains annoyed […]

The Fang tribe is surviving on a few spoonfuls of rice each day, and when Crystal accidentally spills some, Matty and Ace say nothing, but Crystal’s still upset because they looked unhappy. Crystal then refuses to eat, since she doesn’t want to take food away from the others, but she later says that Ace could’ve saved her some rice if he cared about her. Ace tells the camera that he sees Crystal as “the next lamb to the slaughter,” but he doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to lamb-slaughter predictions: When he said that about the Kelly […]

Ace ponders which member of the old Fang tribe could be a Benedict Arnold to help keep him around. Matty sees himself as being in a bad position and is eager to agree to the first logical plan anyone presents to him. Just like the magical moment when chocolate met peanut butter and begat Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (not really, but I’m trying to make this more interesting than it was), Ace and Matty join forces and agree to protect each other until the merge, sealing the deal with swearing on their loved ones (Matty’s girlfriend and Ace’s mother). Matty […]

Sugar returns from Exile and joins the Fang tribe and her buddy Ace, who tells the camera he’s got Sugar in his pocket (which, I’ve been told, can lead to ants in your pants). She tells folks that she spent her time on Exile in the Sugar shack, explaining that she gave up on searching for the hidden immunity idol last time, so this time she chose comfort. Yeah, you’re not really a good liar, Sugar. Crystal correctly believes Sugar has the idol and says, “I’ve got to get rid of her.” Both tribes get to know the native animals […]

On Kota, Kelly feels she could be on the chopping block because she cast a vote against Ace at the last Tribal Council. Indeed, Ace tells the camera, in a devilish way, in whatever kind of accent he has, that Kelly will be “the next lamb to the slaughter.” He likes sounding like a Bond villain. Meanwhile, on the Fang tribe, Randy, Matty, Dan and Susie form an alliance when they sneak off to complain about GC, Crystal and Ken. And then the tribes are switched up. First, each person fills out a tally board, ranking their tribemates according to […]

Randy says of his Fang tribemates, “I really shouldn’t blame them for being complete idiots, but they are. They don’t know it, but they are.” Then he and GC bicker over rice and leadership, and Randy tells the camera that he thinks of GC as a cancer to be excised. Dan, the lawyer who’s looking for himself, observes in his astute way, “I don’t think we’ve pulled together as a team.” On the Kota tribe, Sugar and Ace have pulled together as a mini-team, with Sugar trusting Ace to take care of her as much as he can. So her […]

After the preliminary shots of African wildlife and the 18 Survivors walking through the savannah, the contestants stand in a line and introduce themselves, telling their name and what they do for a living. It’s interesting to see what people choose to reveal about themselves. Crystal doesn’t let on that she’s a 2004 Olympic gold medalist in track and field, Charlie calls himself a “management consultant” instead of an attorney, which is what the CBS website calls him, and Marcus just says he’s “in the medical field,” although the CBS website calls him a doctor. The oldest folks on the […]