Posted by ButtonKnows
I’m going to make a little prediction here. Perhaps I’ll be wrong, which is fine — the opposite outcome has made for perfectly good TV all season long and will continue to do so. But I am feeling just bold enough about my theory to throw it out there and see what happens. (Providing that what happens has nothing to do with Spencer Pratt calling me out on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show or something nasty like that … which secretly I would love, Spence, so game on, little feller.)
Here’s my prediction: I think Lauren and Heidi are secretly still in friend-love and going to get back together. I do. I think the last episode of this trek through The Hills will feature a wistful and doe-eyed Heidi riding shotgun in Lauren’s ragtop Mercedes, while a scorned but self-righteous Spencer is left to order Vengeance Shirley Temples and doof up his apartment decor all by his friend-free self.
Maybe a little “left at the altar” involved. Maybe a little prenup dustup. Who knows. But there’s only one direction this storyline is headed in and that’s a big fat backward.
I mean, think about it. Lo is back. Like all the way back … from the very first season of Laguna Beach. Audrina’s back with Justin-Bobby. Brody and Jason are both back in Lauren’s good graces to the point that she just slept over at B’s and went to dinner with J. Can a special guest appearance by the newly-single Stephen Colletti be too far behind? Hey look! Another prediction!
And while Heidi-doody has herself a brand-new fiance in Spence, whose primary jobs are a) to be a perfect ass to everyone she knows and b) make her look like a perfect ass to everyone on Earth, plus a brand-new job she stole from about the only chick who can — well could — stand her anymore, she’s starting to look a little a busted in the chops. Especially after being handed a verbal laundry list of the friends she once had and hasn’t anymore by the newest one on the list. And, if the previews for next week’s ep are to be believed, getting slapped upside the little blond head with the knowledge that Spencer hasn’t quite broken their big betrothal news to Ma and Pa Pratt.
Oh oh.
So let’s review. We now know that Lauren’s capacity for forgiveness is as big as the Pacific, save for one little island shaped like Kristin Cavallari. Big enough to hand a pass to Brody, a guy who made out with one of her best friends behind her back during Season 2, then iced it by contributing to her being stuck with one of the most horrific and oft repeated nicknames in pop culture history — and it ain’t “LC.” And big enough to pass the olive branch to Jason, who traded their live-in relationship for a series of arrests, drunken brawls, sex tape rumors and various other niceties, before sobering up and promptly getting engaged to another woman.
(BTW. What is WITH these people needing to tie the knot before they can legally order a drink?? Marriages don’t get cancelled when the series does, muffins.)
By comparison, Lauren came out pretty much unscathed in the Heidi bust-up. She got to keep the apartment. The friends. The cuddly coverage in the tabs. She got the story line that doesn’t make her look like she sold her soul to the devil and agreed to marry his son to boot. And the chance to hand a VMA award to Justin Timberlake and get verbally bitch-slapped in return. Okay, that last one was a little bit of a bummer, but at least she had Audrina and Whitney there to commiserate.
Plain and simple, the girl is great at redemption. And I can just see it now. The tearful phone call. The ride to the rescue. Audrina and her stuff being summarily loaded onto the back of Justin-Bobby’s bike to make room for Montag. And the whole girlie gang together again, seated at the right hand of Hollywood — or at least at one big happy table at Les Deux — with a fresh crop of boys just waiting to spoil the fun in Season 4.
