Warning: It’s about to get all stupid up in here.
One would think that — a week after driving his rental car into a lake at the command of his GPS navigation system —Michael Scott would put a little more forethought into his actions. One would be wrong. “Launch Party” starts out innocently enough, with the employees gathered in the conference room, seemingly hanging on Michael’s every word but really just rooting for a little animated cube to land in the corner of the TV screen. From there, it all goes downhill for Michael.
Ryan has issued a release announcing the launch party for the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website. Michael will be joining the other VIPs in New York for sushi while the rest of the Scranton office will be linked to the other branches of the company via videoconference. Not everyone is excited about the new website — in fact, no one really is, but Dwight is the only one who responds with something stronger than indifference. He challenges the website to sell more paper than him that day, thinking that it will impress Angela. It doesn’t. As Pam notes, Dwight mercy-killing Angela’s cat has caused “a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela — who are both already prone to unpleasantness.”
Andy’s onboard with Dwight’s fight against the website, offering to keep a tally of each competitor’s sales and blow a bear horn for every sale Dwight makes. Jim is less enthused, and recruits Pam to play a prank on Dwight. As a result, Dwight is interrupted mid-sale by an instant message from DunMiff/sys, informing him that the website has been programmed to destroy him in sales.
While Dwight and DunMiff/sys wage a war of words, Michael is preparing for the launch party by trying on an ill-fitting, European cut shirt and trying to convince Jan to attend the event with him. After all, all of her friends will be there. And by friends, he means the people who fired her. So that’s a “no” from Jan, and Michael moves on. By virtue of being slower on the draw with his “not it” than Pam, Jim will be accompanying Michael to New York.
A quick update on the sales contest: Dwight is winning handsomely. Wait, make that Dwight is a very close second. It’s a seesaw battle, which makes for a lot of tension. When Darryl hand-delivers 500 sheets of paper to Kelly, it pushes Dwight over the edge and he berates her for not buying from him. This allows Darryl to intervene and score points with Kelly — and possibly set up yet another office romance later on. Could Kelly and Darryl be the next Jim and Pam? Um, probably not. But you have to think they’d be a fun couple anyway.
Jim and Michael drive to the Big Apple, and after Michael reveals that he purchased a copy of Green Eggs and Ham to give to Ryan as an inspirational gift (they were sold out of Oh, The Places You’ll Go) he also reveals that he has, yet again, done something stupid. It turns out that the club in New York where the party is being held is called Chat Room, and it’s so exclusive that it requires a password. When Jim asks if there are also three w’s at the beginning of the address, even Michael realizes that it’s an online party. They make a U-turn and head back to Scranton, where Michael plans his own party, which will be “sexier, cooler and more important and will embarrass all other parties.” To Michael, that means it will have: beer, light beer, streamers, orchids, better lighting, something made of ice, pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms, white pizza, steak, chocolates, someone famous, cool music, confetti and go-go dancers. When it’s over, he wants his party to make people say, “How did they get Al Roker to come?”
Angela is put in charge of carrying out Michael’s party plan, as if she doesn’t already have enough to worry about. Dwight has officially beaten the computer “for her” and won’t accept the fact that she doesn’t want him back. Now, Andy has decided to make a play for Angela after asking Dwight what he thinks of her “as a woman.” Dwight, protecting his own interests, tells Andy that it’s inappropriate to date someone he works with — but that it’s OK to date Kelly because she works in the annex and that Andy is also welcome to date Toby. Not to be dissuaded, Andy approaches Angela as she rummages around for party decorations, and delivers his pickup line, “You looking for dinner and a movie? ‘Cause you’re not going to find it in that box.” Somehow, it doesn’t work, but Andy’s not discouraged. “They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really … well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates,” he says.
The pizza for the party — which, to the chagrin of everyone in the office, Michael has ordered from Pizza By Alfredo instead of Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe — arrives and Michael attempts to pay with a half-off coupon. His discount is denied and Michael sets a new standard for stupid. He makes the delivery boy sit in the conference room until he agrees to honor the coupon — which everyone in the office but Michael recognizes as a kidnapping.
Andy finally seems to be making some progress in his attempt to win Angela’s favor, by bringing her a “thing made of ice” — which is a frozen monstrosity depicting two swans kissing and forming the shape of a heart. Angela is pleased. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam head up to the roof to enjoy their pizza without the threat of a Class 2 felony charge.
Hostage situation or not, the videoconference party must go on, and Michael takes his video introduction as onscreen opportunity to rub Ryan’s face in the fact that Dwight outsold his precious website and to call Ryan an a**hole. Kelly just rubs Ryan’s face with a piece of pizza, and the delivery boy makes a plea for help. After it’s all over, Michael finally realizes what he’s done and releases the delivery boy. Now all he can do is wait and hope nothing happens.
Andy, with the help of two buddies on the phone, serenades Angela with the best version of Abba’s “Take a Chance on Me” that I’ve ever heard and she responds with the little almost-smile she used to get when Dwight did something that pleased her, before walking away. This clearly isn’t over.
At the end of the horrible day they’ve endured, Michael and Dwight head to New York for some sushi — which they steal from Ryan’s party and eat on the hood of Dwight’s car — before engaging in some Ryan bashing. Then, things get a little awkward when Michael makes reference to Ryan being hot. Hasn’t he seen the beard? Anyway, here’s what else we like about last night’s episode.
Mike says
Best Quote: “It’s bad. It’s real bad. It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage.” — Kevin describing why Pizza By Alfredo is not as good as Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe
Best Moment: When Phyllis, who has Googled “how to deal with difficult people” to prepare for her interaction with Angela, realizes that the most effective method is throwing balled-up Post-Its in her face. That seemed to shut her up.
Employee of the Week: The Pizza By Alfredo delivery guy. Michael’s stupidity works best when there’s a somewhat sensible foil for him to play off of, and Michael’s stupidity was in top form last night. The delivery guy didn’t even get rattled by Dwight’s intimidation tactics — although that could have been because Dwight spoke openly about them in front of him …
Ryan says
Best Quote: Dwight: “He’s one of the kids that sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp.” Pizza delivery kid: “Yeah, I know that guy. He’s the farmer that grows really crappy weed.”
Best Moment: Meredith lifting up her skirt so Jim can sign her pelvic cast. Meredith then says she’s going to read it later at home … if you know what she means. Ewww.
Employee of the Week: Angela. She took unpleasantness to whole new levels in this episode: Berating Phyllis, spurning Dwight and taking away Andy’s bear horn. She wants to officially break up with Dwight by a notarized letter, but she can’t because Dwight is her notary. She wants slutty Pam to find her a man. And when Andy breaks out the ABBA, she pretends not to like it … though we know she does.
johnnysweeptheleg says
Best Quote: “The website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain grandchild.” — Michael taking credit for the birth of Ryan, essentially
Best Moment: Darryl and Kelly’s “moment.” And by moment, I mean the sound Darryl makes coupled with the look he gives Kelly when she admits that she doesn’t miss Ryan (so much) anymore. I thought the flash cut to Darryl hitting on the “nurse” during the season opener was one of the cutaway scene-stealers. Now we realize that Darryl’s just naturally smooth with the ladies … which certainly puts him in the running for a future “Employee of the Week” nomination.
Employee of the Week: DunMiff/sys. I LOL’d as Dwight and the computer got into an instant message showdown over superiority. From the computer revealing that it believes it is programmed to be Dwight’s enemy while destroying him in paper sales, and its “what is a Jim?” response, all the way to its touching “you beat me. you are a superior being” moment at Dwight’s lowest point …DunMiff/sys provided the funniest and most heartwarming scenes of the episode.