Posted by Sarah
Flash floods are a problem all over Quahog … and they’re a great way to stay in shape. Cleveland is evacuated to the stadium, all by himself, even though his house isn’t even getting rained on. The Griffins are not so lucky — their first floor is under water, and when Peter sends Meg into the kitchen to save his six-pack of beer, she gets hooked on the fridge rack and loses consciousness. She’s in a coma, and Peter regrets treating her so badly all her life. He promises to treat her like a princess if she’ll just wake up. And she does, when hunky doctor Michael Milano comes into the room.
Back at the house, Stewie tells Brian about his new money-making idea: house flipping. He’s found a decrepit old mansion that he wants to remodel, and Brian reluctantly agrees to help.
Dr. Milano and Meg celebrate their three-week anniversary: he takes her to dinner and gives her a Maroon 5 cd because he knows she loves terrible music. Peter’s spying on them from across the way, and when Dr. Milano realizes how much Peter doesn’t trust him with his daughter, he dumps Meg.
Two weeks later, the family’s on the couch watching a movie that goes to commercial, and while old women dressed like Fanta Girls sing about Sanka, Meg bursts into tears and tells the family she’s pregnant. Peter goes to Dr. Milano’s house with a shotgun, but it’s not needed. Dr. Milano will marry Meg.
Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian aren’t doing very well on the house, over. So Stewie sets the thing on fire, over. And we get to watch it explode 25 times from 25 different angles in a blockbuster-montage way, over. Unfortunately, the electrician was still in the house, prompting Stewie to deliver one of my favorite lines of the episode, “Well, by God, Brian, we’re murderers.” Over.
Meg tries on wedding dresses and Lois offers alternatives to giving birth. The bachelorette party is a flop, since Peter is the stripper. When the day of the wedding arrives, Meg realizes she’s not pregnant, and when she tells the doctor, he leaves her at the altar. But since everyone showed up for the wedding and is expecting a show, Peter cuts to a clip of Conway Twitty singing “Hello, Darlin’.”
Overall, I give it a 3 out of 10. It wasn’t very good at all, but there were a few highlights, and it’s a great way to stay in shape:
- Peter saying “I’m a worse father than Abraham!” Cut to Abraham and Isaac walking down a mountain, and Isaac turns to Abraham and says, “You wanna tell me what the f*** that was???”
- I’m Rich and You’re Not, but Let’s Dance Together
- The 72 virgins awaiting a suicide bomber in heaven are all Trek/Potter geekboys playing Magic: The Gathering