You might think it’s no accident that Valerie Bertinelli’s first film appearance after a talk-show-filled spring spent touting her jaw-dropper of an autobiography is called True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet.
Turns out, her role in the Lifetime original, which premieres Aug. 9, had little to do with her return to the spotlight and everything to do with a fledgling rock star named Wolfgang who’s just itching to fly the coop.
“My son was up in Toronto doing a show with his dad [legendary Van Halen guitarist Eddie Van Halen],” Bertinelli chuckles, “so I thought, ‘Well! Here’s a great way for me to be up there, too! And I can work!’ When things happen where I can not be away from my boy so much — because the older he gets the more he wants to be away from me — it makes my life a little bit easier.”
Bertinelli teamed up with another youthful rocker, 17-year-old Joanna “JoJo” Levesque, in Confessions, a summer confection of a dramedy that casts a winking-but-wise eye on the rapid rise and fall of the Britneys and Lindsays of the world.
We talked with the beloved star-turned-everywoman-role-model about her relationship with her Van Halen men, her triumphant weight loss, and her no-holds-barred thoughts on today’s starlets and the Hollywood stalkerazzi.
Channel Guide Magazine: What is your take on the business of being a young actress in Hollywood today compared to when you were on One Day at a Time? Do you think there is more pressure to behave like an adult — and more booby traps, as well, courtesy of the Internet, tabloids, blogs and so on?
Valerie Bertinelli: The only really big difference is the Internet, because they didn’t have the Internet — at least for public consumption — back when I was that age. But I do think it is an individual thing. Joanna — she is such a mature young woman, and she handled herself with such grace and maturity and doesn’t fall into the traps that you see the other girls falling into, believing the press about themselves.
I think anytime anybody — and this happened to me, too — gets too big for their britches, you’re going to fall on your face. It’s inevitable. Because I think you always have to keep in mind that you have to treat people the way you would prefer to be treated. Treat people with kindness. Just because you’re a celebrity, per se, it doesn’t give you any more hold over anybody else. You’re still a human being and you still have to walk in the world as a good, good-spirited, good-natured human being. And I think when some of these girls start buying into the press and how important they think they are, they’re going to fall on their face.
Plus, I think family has a big job there. When you’re part of a good, strong family, you don’t start buying into everything.
It can be very intoxicating. I mean, some of these paparazzi, you can hear them on the other side — I’ve heard them, too, in my limited associations with them (chuckles) — and they’re so … actually … evil! They say all these wonderful things to you while they’re trying to trip you up. I just don’t say anything. I mean I’m old enough now where it’s like, “Yeah, whatever, dude,” and I just walk on by and don’t say a thing. They never use it, because it’s not interesting.
When you don’t wear underwear and you talk back to them, it’s interesting. So they air it. You just have to make it all as uninteresting as possible. But some of these girls like having their picture plastered all over everything — in the beginning. And then they realize, and they get upset, when in fact they’ve made themselves interesting by not wearing underwear and by doing the stupid things that will get themselves noticed. It’s a scary thing to get into when you don’t have that self-edit button and you don’t know how to quite make your own way in the world at that age. And I think they prey on them. UGH! AGGGGH! I don’t actually understand how it’s allowed to go on, I actually don’t.
There are stalker laws in this country that aren’t being applied to these people. Because why? Because they’re hiding behind the First Amendment? No! They’re making money off of the misery of young girls and they’re stalking people!
I have to drive by Britney’s house a lot. She’s just in the part of the neighborhood that you drive by a lot — it’s a main thoroughfare — and you see them just sitting there and doing illegal things with their cars. They go through red lights constantly and they make it dangerous for other people. And it’s allowed to go on.
I’m not complaining for me. Because really, they could give two craps about me — and I’m happy to be that way. I’ve been very lucky this whole entire career that I’ve had. But they make it very dangerous for the rest of us normal people just trying to get around in this city.
Do you think some of these young women also fall victim to their own family’s attraction to fame? I mean, there are plenty of stage moms out there — Britney’s included — making sure their daughters stay in the spotlight. And oftentimes those moms aren’t terrifically savvy themselves …
Well, I disagree with the word victim. I’ve never liked that word. No one can be a victim of a position they put themselves into. They may be a victim of the wrong decisions. But I don’t know. I don’t know any of these women. I would parent a little differently, but that’s not fair to say either because I don’t know them. I fall into the trap of judgment very easily and I can be very judgmental and I am really trying to work my way out of that one [laughs]. But it’s certainly … aaagh … ugghh … gawd [she laughs at her own frustration].
Here I am with a 17-year-old and I am praying to God that I am raising him well enough. But, you know some people don’t agree with the decisions I made either, sending my son on the road — but they also don’t know my son. They don’t know the environment he was in, that it was safe. So I don’t know … I hate to judge other people because then I am setting myself up for the same.
OK, but even though you know it’s safe, doesn’t having a rock ’n’ roll teenage son on the road with one the most legendary rock ’n’ roll bands of all time ever sit you up in the middle of the night? And if not, could you share your secret with the rest of us mothers of teenage sons?
Oh sure [it does], but I am thinkin’, “Oh I hope he’s going to bed at a decent hour. I hope he’s not staying up too late.” Because you have to remember that, yeah, this is a legendary band of partiers, but they’re all in their 50s now. They’ve kind of gotten that out of their system and now they’ve got families with them. I mean, as much as I was out there with them, it really was a family atmosphere. I’ve known them for 28 years. And I was married to one of them [laughs].
In fact, Ed and I were on the phone yesterday talking … and it’s so odd now. Our son gets up and he goes and does his things. He’s out driving around, driving his friends and meeting his friends. And Ed and I were just laughing on the phone the other day, saying, “We miss our boy! We never see him anymore! He’s out with all his friends!” We’re like, “Well, what happened?! Where’s our boy!”
I thank God that in California no child is allowed to be out after 11 o’clock at his age — when you’ve been driving under a year. He has a curfew at 11 o’clock. So I’m like, “Cool! I don’t have to put that one down — he has to be in at 11! I got the county helping me on that one!”
So would you ever consider doing a reality show to show the world what your “rock ’n’ roll” lifestyle is really like?
Before [Wolfie] went on the road — and since then — we’ve been offered so many reality shows. “Can we follow you and … ?” No! We need private time too! I don’t care about people’s perception enough to put a reality show on to show people who I am. It doesn’t matter. And it’s not reality at all. I mean, no matter how many times you say, “I didn’t even realize the camera was there …” OK, but ya knew it was coming into your house at some point!
But the reality show that I must admit I did love was The Osbournes. That was funny. And they were brilliant at it. Everything since then wasn’t worth putting on television.
Your February Oprah interview to promote “Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time” — and the book itself — seemed to throw the planet on its ear. Did you go into it expecting to put so much out there, or did you tell yourself you’d be honest about whatever was brought to the table?
It did?! [Laughs] I guess I wasn’t aware …
Google yourself, Valerie!
VB, still laughing: Oh … ergh! … maybe I should.
Meeting people on my book tour, they’ve been so kind and have been saying they’re appreciative reading a story that relates to their own life. THAT was my intention with the book, saying we are all so much more alike than we are different and my life really wasn’t more different than anyone else’s. I went through the same ups and downs, except I had a different job, as did my husband.
But I am sure that there are people out there, too, that weren’t real fond of it and I’m OK with that. You can’t please everyone.
I’m almost 50, so I can look back and go, “Wow! This is how this shaped my life. This is how this shaped my life in this way. And so now I’m going to get rid of that and get rid of the shame there and kind of continue on here.”
It’s about forgiveness of yourself. And hopefully I’m forgiven for the things I’ve done in life. Ed and I have had long conversations about it, and we’re so forgiving of each other and what we did. And my book never had the intention of hurting anyone else — I didn’t even want to hurt myself with it! I just wanted to be brutally honest and say this is what happened and I am sure a lot of these things happened to you, too, and this is how I got through it. If I can be of any help or of any service, read … and hopefully the help will come.
Was there anything you chose not to include?
I had a brilliant ghostwriter, Todd Gold — we’re going to be starting another book soon, we’re just not sure when — and I’ve known Todd for so many years that I didn’t feel that I was really talkin’ out of school that much. I didn’t feel that I was letting out any information that wasn’t already known. And if there was a story in the book that looked like it might hurt somebody else, and there wasn’t really a lesson out of it, I took it out immediately. Because I really wanted to be careful about blaming anybody else for a situation I found myself in. That’s how I try to lead my life.
When you start to call yourself a victim — “Oh look what he did to me! Look what they did to me!” — you’re never going to get anywhere. You’re never going to grow. So get out of that victim rut, pull yourself up and walk through the hell that you’re in. Just walk through it.
And then you have to turn around and go, “OK, now what did I do?
I beat myself up for so many years about the choices that I made and the people that I hurt, and I just thought of myself as such a terrible person that that’s what kept the weight on me for so long. Because I believed that all of those bad choices that I made made me into a terrible person.
But what I started to discover through the book and through losing the weight — and it all kind of happened at the same time — was that the choices that I made and all the bad things I did don’t define who I am today. They just got me here. You still have to make amends, and you still have to ask for forgiveness — and give forgiveness — to get to the other side. You can’t just forget about it. But you can’t define yourself by it.
Kirstie Alley has not been treated kindly by the tabs in the wake of her run as Jenny Craig spokeswoman. Do you feel some pressure to maintain the weight loss, or is this something you did for you and whatever comes of it is yours and nobody else’s business?
They’re sowing some pretty wicked seeds, the individuals who are writing these stories, aren’t they?! They can’t be happy in their own lives if they’re so devoted to hurting others — because it is purposely hurtful.
Kirstie is such an amazing, amazing, quick, smart woman! I love her energy. And for them to just lay in wait for her — I want to scream! They don’t know who she is!
This is definitely something I did for me, and what I need in my life, and the way I want to live the rest of my life. I mean, yes, I am a spokeswoman, so there is a certain contractual obligation I have to hold myself to. But I really need this for me, because I don’t ever want to go back to being THAT again. And it has less to do with the weight than what was going on in my brain and my soul and my thoughts. The weight was just a symptom of what was going on. I don’t ever want to be that person again because of how much pain I was in.
You’re also blessed with one of those faces that never, ever ages. Which is a wonderful thing — but does it also make it a little more difficult to separate the all-grown-up Valerie Bertinelli from the “Barbara Cooper/brand-new Mrs. Van Halen” Valerie Bertinelli?
As I lost the weight, I did notice that I didn’t look as matronly. And there’s actually been some of the Jenny Craig people — in fact, I was just meeting with my consultant today — who’ve said in some of the commercials I’ve started to look younger and younger. So now I’m being accused of getting plastic surgery. Which I’d like to know when the hell I’ve had the time to do that, because I’ve been in the public eye now for the past year and half nonstop! I guess I just have one of those cherub faces. But believe me, if you look close enough … [laughs].
You’ve had such a whirlwind year. Are you planning to stay in the eye of the storm and keep acting and writing, or are you officially on summer vacation?
I’m still deciding whether I want to [write another book], or hold off for another year. I might do a talk show. I might do a sitcom. I’ve got both of those in the works. So a book, a sitcom, a talk show … who knows? I didn’t realize I was missed — it’s so nice to come back and be told that I was!
But right now, I’m on summer vacation. I’m so happy not to be traveling. I’ve spent the last three to four months traveling, and I’m so not that. I’m a nester. Traveling isn’t something I happen to love.
But having said that, one of these years, I’m getting myself to Italy. I’m dying to go to Italy and that’s about it. Maybe I’ll wind up going there and never leaving.
