Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition recap: Broadway, babies

This week on Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition, Cindy is sick of Shari saying “McKaylee,” the theme is Broadway and Rachelle has forgotten her pants.

This can only mean one thing — this is Sas we’re dealing with right here, boys and girls. Star of the Broadway stage. Where pants are optional.

With a dashing wiggle of her baby brows, JoJo informs us she should already be on Broadway because she is good at singing, dancing and speaking well. Also, wiggling her eyebrows.

This week’s skill is versatility and the challenge winner scores the first solo of the season. Rachelle will be teaching the combo. Also, because this is faux Broadway, we no longer have names. We have numbers. McKaylee says this is as close as she’s come yet to a bona fide professional audition.

Let me just say right now, I don’t know about this choreography. Yes, Sas, you are sassy and sultry and other things that start with S, but these are children you’re teaching. Two of the children are boys. And I’m not sure how appropriate any of it is, including what you’re wearing. But maybe I’m just fussy today.

Also, editors, how does teal-clad No. 9 Trinity go from sitting behind Shari to dancing behind Gianna in zero seconds? That kid really is versatile.

JoJo’s too-high Frug earns her first out yet again. Ally can’t do an aerial, so she goes next. Gianna lands too heavy. Tyler sickles his foot. Trinity straddles down not all the way in a straddle, which confuses me and gets her sent packing next. Kalani’s “fish face” is too animated.

It’s McKaylee versus Travis for the win. Someone would pick Travis.

Abby says she’s impressed with both dancers, but McKaylee gets the victory. Abby tells Travis he never once looked her in the eye, while McKaylee did three faces, at least. Not a one of them “fish.”

For her winning efforts, McKaylee gets a lyrical solo in the style of Les Miserables. All of the routines will incorporate several styles of dance, in keeping with the theme.

While an emotional Shari waxes proud about the win, Kira whines that if the mothers did a shot every time Shari says “McKaylee” they would be drunk in 30 minutes. If she’s trying to make the point I think she is, I’m not sure Kira really understands how shots work. You would be in a coma, muffin. Possibly dead.

Tessandra Chavez will be teaching Ally and Gianna a solo called “Eight,” which is inspired by the musical “Nine,” which was inspired by Federico Fellini’s film 8 1/2. It will take 90 seconds to do and hopefully the judges will think it is a 10, so that Gianna and Ally don’t wind up in the bottom three. Numbers are fun.

McKaylee’s solo, “I Danced A Dream,” will be choreographed by Anthony Burrell and incorporate lyrical and classical ballet. Shari says conveying the character and the emotion will be toughest for her technically sound girl. Anthony demonstrates. Or possibly takes a nap.

Shari says she hopes the solo won’t be the death of them. Just the fetal position.

In the Kristie Ray/Yvette Walts Memorial Rhinestoning Room of Contentiousness, Tiffany and Cindy are discussing what a snooze it is to watch McKaylee dance. Tiffany says that she hopes the equation of Shari being a dance teacher, the dance being McK’s preferred style and the fact that the dance is a solo all add up to disaster for the pair. Yes, Tiffy. It does sound like a disaster waiting to happen. Three rights making a wrong and all of that…

JoJo, Trinity and Tyler will be doing a hip-hop/jazz trio called “Extra Extra” inspired by that hallmark of hip-hop Newsies. This gives JoJo ample opportunity to holler at the top of her lungs, which is something JoJo is good at, too. Tyler is the lead and Erik Saradpon will choreograph. Oops. Tyler was the lead. Now it’s Trinity. Erik says Travis and JoJo aren’t working hard enough. Sheryl says realizing that her boy is the locomotive for a train wreck and not being able to divert the disaster is hard.

JoJo breaks the situation down like so: Trinity might be great in rehearsal, but she falls apart onstage. JoJo on the other hand might be a little iffy in rehearsal but she is FABULOUS onstage. Tyler just looks le miserable.

Travis and Kalani will be doing an ambitious, Phantom of the Opera-inspired duet called “Monsters of the Night” that incorporates jazz, ballroom and funk. Tarua Hall will choreograph. Travis says he’s a ladies’ man, so he thinks partner work is awesome. Abby shows up and tells her favorite girl that she is too old to keep making ooh-ah fish faces. and that both of them really have to take their partner work and conveying a connection seriously. The Ladies’ Man is having a little trouble connecting to that.

Come competition day, Kira reiterates that everyone is so upset with Shari right now, because Shari is obsessed with her own kid. Whereas I am virtually certain the rest of them don’t care one bit who wins this thing as long as it’s just, you know, someone really super nice.

Meanwhile, Cindy is snipping away at the skirt of Gianna’s costume, to make her stand out from Ally, she says. Tiffany says, no, the costumes have to match. Cindy says no way is her kid blending into Ally’s background.

Here.

Psyche!

Tiffany says no matter what length Ally’s skirt is, this will be her show and Gianna will be the background dancer, so Cindy can keep her stinky scissors.

Out at the judges table, Rachelle Rak, Broadway Star, has traded her plain tank for a spangly one, plus a matching fedora. The camera doesn’t pull back far enough so I can see if she remembered her pants this time or not. But the audience doesn’t look too worried, so I’m encouraged.

Travis and Kalani go first. The combination of the lights and music threaten to give me a seizure, and most of the time the two look like they’re doing two different dances. But that could be because I can’t focus because of the lights and music. Then Travis gets tangled up in Kalani’s feet while dragging her toward the edge of the stage, nearly sending both of them overboard.

Abby says their hand placements were awkward. Richy says the multiple styles demonstrated their lack of versatility rather than vice versa. Rachelle says Travis needs to work on his timing, and that Kalani’s faces don’t match the steps she is doing. While Gianna does a mocking “Toddlers and Tiaras” pucker-and-nod expression backstage, Abby lets Kalani have it about the faces, too. She says if she isn’t going to take corrections, she may as well go back home.

Trinity, JoJo and Tyler go next.

This is definitely a Rachelle kind of dance and she immediately zeroes in on Trinity, commanding, “Get it! Get it!” Richy is all about it, too, standing up and finger-waving like a madman when it’s over.

Abby says Trinity isn’t built like a dancer (or at least her kind of dancer) but still she wins her over. Richy says her presence was so big that there was no looking at anyone else. Rachelle, who is actually wearing a spangly little dress, stands up to tell Trinity she could be on Broadway today.

Now about the other two. Rachelle says she really wants to root for JoJo, but she was behind in her timing and not totally confident. Abby says she all but disappeared next to Trinity. Richy wants to know why a girl was dancing the lead in a Newsies-inspired dance. Travis admits he was moved from the center and is punished for his honesty.

Because we should never miss an opportunity to hear JoJo lisp adorably — especially when she’s all dressed like a street urchin — we learn that she is a little sad that she messed up, because she is a girl who never, never, and she repeats never, messes up.

Gianna and Ally go next. This is a Rachelle-style bump-and-grinder, too. Ally executes a perfect side aerial and the crowd cheers. Then she falls out of a turn. Abby looks like the bumpin’ music and suggestive choreography are blowing her mind.

This one earns a Richy wave, too. Abby commends Ally for the side aerial bravery. She takes Gianna to task for her feet, but says the style was still there.

Richy says this.

Rachelle says this.

…which, for the sake of your dance vocabulary, is a Bite The Apple (and is really hard to capture because you Bite The Apple fast).

Or, if you’d care to call it by its AUDC name, an Irritate Abby With Your Showboating.

Also, if you cut off Rachelle’s hair, I think she might lose her superpowers.

Abby agrees that the girls looked like stars. Tiffy says that Gianna only performed well because she was next to Ally.

McKaylee is a nervous wreck before her solo and Shari’s own nerves aren’t helping. I’m a sucker for anything Fantine in the first place, and the dance gives me goose bumps and makes me well up. Anthony! Who knew you had such pretty things in you!

The judges give McKaylee (drink!) a standing ovation and the crowd goes wild. Backstage, Tina is wowed. Tiffy wants to shoot herself — her words. Shari is serene.

Abby gives McKaylee a few technical corrections, but assures her the rest was outstanding. Richy gives her the waves. Rachelle says in that performance she watched McKaylee transform from a dancer to a storyteller. She says she’ll be waiting to pass the Broadway torch. I dab my eyes, blow my nose and watch the dance again.

Judges’ deliberation. Props all around for McKaylee again. Trinity, too. Richy says that Tyler is too used to being a costar and may never stand out. Backstage, JoJo’s baby bluster fails her a little. Richy laughs at how much Abby hates Gianna’s pigeon toes but says the girl doesn’t deserve to be in the bottom three. Rachelle and Richy also give Abby some grief about Kalani. Abby says, well, in any case, she outshined Travis, so there.

JoJo informs us that if she goes home it will break her life. Not just her heart. Her whole, entire, nine-years-long life.

Results time. Kevin asks straightaway if Rachelle plans on using her callback card tonight and Rachelle says she does not — hence the results will be final, unless she pulls some woman’s-perogative-to-change-her-mind, Abby-style drama like last week. But I don’t really see that happening. I think we’ve all learned our callback card lesson, and Rachelle is saving hers for a great performer who suffers at the hands of Abby’s technique obsession. Rachelle can make me giggle now and then, but I think she is truly devoted to choosing a dancer who has the potential for a viable dance career — and a long one.

Abby says each judge had his or her own favorite. She calls Trinity forward. Wait, what? McKaylee knocked a lyrical routine out of the park and several other parks and Trinity is Abby’s favorite?! Richy calls Ally forward, saying she was a star tonight.

Oh. McK couldn’t be Abby’s favorite because she’s Rachelle’s favorite. I still think that’s a bit turned around, but in any case, I’m glad both girls were chosen. Speaking of turned around, Abby asks Kalani and Gianna to step backward. She says they each know what they have to work on — for Gianna, the feet; for Kalani, the face. And they are safe to work on them another day.

That leaves a bottom three of JoJo, Travis and Tyler. For once, Jessalynn is not so chuckley. Abby tells JoJo she’s going to quote a musical called The Goodbye Girl to evoke the kid’s fate.

“You were never four-and-a-half; you were born 26”?

No. Not that one.

“If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face”?

Not that one, either.

“Of all the right-up-front girls I know, you are the right-up-frontest”?

Nope, though it kinda fits.

“I thought you said you were decent”?

No again. That one was, admittedly, a long shot. But it’s my favorite.

Abby picks this gem: “Goodbye.”

Didn’t even have to go past the title for that bad boy. Also, if we’re going that route, it’s arguably a quote from approximately 9 million things. And it doesn’t mean JoJo is going home. She’s just leaving the bottom three.

The boys begin to cry, realizing that one of them is heading home to Rhode Island while the other dances on. Or maybe not. When Abby informs Tyler that today is not his day, but he’s welcome at the ALDC any time he’d like, Travis says he’s staying true to his brother and going home, too. Sheryl says they mean no disrespect — it’s just a twin thing. Abby can’t believe her ears. Calling the whole trio — Sheryl and her boys — ridiculous, she rants that any of the girls up there would sell their soul for the prize on which Travis is turning his back.

Rachelle tries a more measured approach. “You did realize there was one winner, correct?” she asks them. “One?”

It works. Abby asks Travis one more time — staying or going? Travis the ladies’ man is staying with his ladies.

So what say you, Abby’s Ultimate fans? Is your favorite dancer still in the running? Which judge’s assessments do you agree with the most? Do the mothers affect how you feel about the dancers? Got a favorite choreographer? Sound off in the comments section below.

New episodes of Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition air Tuesday nights at 9/8CT on Lifetime.