Last week, I was on an airplane to London while Naked and Afraid XL, Episode 2 was airing in the U.S.. By the time I had arrived at my hotel, the comments made it clear that this episode was a whole new level of insanity. Everyone was buzzing about Honora’s trip to coo-coo-town. So when I got home from London yesterday, I shrugged off my jet-lag and sat down to catch up on the crazy.
I have asked Discovery Channel for advanced access to the episodes of Naked and Afraid XL, but because of the heavy amounts of blurring and pixilation that each episode requires, the often don’t get completed until shortly before air. So I’m watching the episodes as they air and am trying to get caught up. Someday I will catch up.
On to the show! In the Naked and Afraid XL premiere, we saw Hakim fall to dehydration. Based on the harsh Columbian location, I’m sure he won’t be the last.
A week ago, 12 survivalists were given the challenge of surviving 40 days in the Colombian badlands. They’ve been divided into four groups in the area’s four distinct topographies.
Jeff, Hakim and EJ begin their journeys in the hot and volcanic Roca Diablo (Devil Rocks), but Hakim tapped out on day 4.
Laura and Eva are in the scrubby desert of Rio Negro (Black River), but Dani, the third member of their groups, has yet to find them.
In the swampy jungle of Cano Verde (Green Canyon), Luke, Chris and Honora and are in an uneasy holding pattern.
In El Bosque (The Forest), Alana and Danielle worry that their partner Shane may be mentally unstable.
Day 7
Chris, Luke and Honora look for fruit. Honora is a rock climber and thinks she can climb 20 feet to the fruit, but Luke and Chris are worried about her safety and dissuade her. Honora thinks her teammates aren’t giving her the respect she deserves. This may come back to haunt them.
Alana finds a tortoise and brings her pet back to camp. Shane is stunned that she doesn’t want to eat it; he is sooo hungry and is sad to see dinner crawl away. But he’s trying to play nice and is more in control than I would have expected.
Dani is still solo and her week of solitude is messing with her psyche. She sets off in search of others and finally finds Eva and Laura. They are so pumped to see her!
Suddenly, with the three friends laughing together, this experience doesn’t seem so terrible!
Honora isn’t deterred in her fruit hunt, but she is able to climb to a piece of fruit, but the men pooh-pooh her efforts. Meanwhile, they haven’t brought anything to the potluck.
Jeff and EJ are hot and bothered in their camp; they are desperate for water.
The super girls use Dani’s net to catch minnows. Yummers.
That night, everyone is collectively eaten by bugs.
Day 9
Luke, Chris and Honora take a long swim and haven’t found anything to eat. Honora is dizzy and blacking out. She passes out in the sun, just like when she passed out in Brazil.
Shane goes hunting for a big rat with his homemade bow. I thought that he brought it, but it appears that he made it — which is awesome — and his survival item is a metal water bottle.
Laura catches and kills a lizard, but when she beheads it, he’s filled with worms. The women must decide if they want to risk getting infected with a dangerous pathogen or going hungry. Food wins.
EJ and Jeff finally find water after hacking thorny, black palm trees for several hours.
Day 10
Honora and her teammates are running on empty. Honor’s request for rest turns into a tirade. It culminates to with Chis yelling at her (calls her “Sour Sally”) and telling her to tap out. Clearly, Chris is not Team Honora. Honora throws her bow drill kit into the fire, grabs Luke’s knife, her machete and throws them into the river. Luke shows what a fantastically calm person he is by not murdering Honora. Chris is furious at the sabotage.
EJ and Jeff are thiiiiiis close to catching a snake and are frustrated that they haven’t caught anything. So Jeff takes out his fishhook and through the magic of TV, they instantly catch a whopper of a meal! And EJ and Jeff — being EJ and Jeff — scream triumphantly at their food. These two are such visceral hoots.
Over on the crazy train, Honora grabs Luke’s’ water bottle and tosses it into the water. She’s glad that she has put Chris at a disadvantage. And Luke pretty much loses his s!@# at her. He may have the patience of a saint, but he’s not a doormat.
Does anyone else think that Honora and Shane may be perfect for each other? How long will Horrible Honora stay around to torture her teammates? Will Naked and Afraid have its first fist-fight?
The season-long XLR is the survival rating of the team, which fluctuates as the teams find success and failure. In the second episode, the team’s scores are as follows:
With the loss of Hakim, EJ and Jeff’s PSR has fallen from 7.9 to 7.1 out of 10.0
Eva, Laura and Dani’s PSR rises from 8.2 to 8.6 out of 10.0
Danielle, Alana and Shane’s PSR dips from 7.6 to 7.3 out of 10.0
Luke, Chris and Honora’s PSR plummets from 7.8 to 6.6 out of 10.0
Survival Stuff
Jeff: Fishhook
Hakim: Magic ninja blade
EJ: Unknown (Maybe a pot?)
Laura: Bow Drill kit
Eva: Pot
Dani: Mosquito net
Luke: Water Bottle (Lost)
Chris: fishing kit (Lost)
Honora: Bow Drill kit
Danielle: Unknown
Alana: Unknown
Shane: Metal Canteen
Honnora or gannora or whatever your name is GO HOME! You are the most childish person I have ever witnessed and I work with children, my goodness! Grow up you’re a big girl, try acting like it.
E.J. , Jeff, Shane, and Dani worked hard to get along they were truly the good guys but the rest of them made life hard shame on them. It’s over now and they want to claim they had no idea ,sure they did, shunning Shane and Dani was on purpose and cruel .
Agreed. The 2 female terrors should be ashamed. They sat around and talked about everyone and started trouble.
Alana is cruel. She must have elements of this in real life for it to come out in full bloom during stressful times. I miss Shane – I just want to give him a big hug. He’s really misunderstood. He had a rough childhood and that has obviously affected in his Adulthood.
Now Dani has left. I really like her a lot. The mean girls have struck again.
Alana is a super bitch, I pity anyone that knows her.
Alana is indeed a real bitch. She may survive on a TV reality show but in a real life survival situation somebody would probably give her a good whooping.
Absolutely agree. Alana is such a bitch! First to Shane, then to poor Dani
hahaha, love the comments. Alana and Danielle are mean spirits. The problem is Shane could have done anything but nothing he could have done would have helped because there was personality conflict to begin with. Even at that though, those two witches are mean. Just a nasty mix of characters their. Felt bad for shane, really glad he had a chance to bond and hang with EJ and Jeff. Felt really good to see him happy about his experience at the end.
Honora is not very HON-ORABLE *winks. Actually she’s bat shit crazy. Good bye! next.
Chris is a sort of a douche, I could probably hang with him though but he’s still sort of a douche. Hippie boy Luke I could hang with but I mean, those dreads and free spirit attitude would get annoying after a while. He’s sort of a douche when he joins the big group.
Now when that group all got together, wow, what a bunch of mean ass people. Sure Dani might not have fit in but there are ways to do things, ganging up on someone and basically forcing them to quit is really really sad. I hope these f’n people all get lime disease. You can get an idea of their character when they didn’t even offer one bite of their POS sting ray catch to EJ. Just one bite woudn’t have cost them much but they all sat there as if it was THIER food, basically scolding him for not joining their group. Yet Jeff has basically given them more food than they’ve eaten all 20+ days. I would have broke from them from the get go. If you notice, Eva and Laura were all GROUP GROUP, if you’re not in a group setting it’s not good. No, that’s just because you’re weak and you’re worried you won’t be able to make it on your own.
Jeff catching the third eel and then apologizing to Chris for not letting him partake in the kill I don’t think was a required apology. Chris imposed himself, only because he wanted to have the excuse to say he helped in the kill so he could get food.
All in all, EJ and Jeff are commandos and I hope they make it to the end, discovery should send everyone else packing and finish the rest of the show with just EJ and Jeff. Two great guys, good skills, good attitude, good morals just stand up dudes.
hopefully some of the contestants will read this 🙂
Alana is a cunt and I would not have shared shit with her or that bitch boy Chris. I would have kicked both of their asses. Jeff ,Ej, Shane, and Dani should have teamed up and got the fuk away from that shit group.
that alana is a total bitch. She can’t even be in the category of female. She is in bitch category. What she needs is for a snake to bite her, a very poisonous one. Then she can know what it’s like being around something like her. Nasty and painful. Except snakes don’t talk. Way better than being around Alana.
It’s funny that the large group chased Dani away stating that she wasn’t “pulling her weight”, when none of them had done jack to get a meal for themselves, except for a small Ray they didn’t even have the decency to share with EJ and Jeff, who have fed them well twice, and ultimately fed them a third time. All of his kills were truly massive protein boosts and literally were the enabling factor in everyones ability to continue. Hats off to Jeff for pulling the entire hunting load, and for EJs support for everyone the needed psychological support. Shame on the combined group for selfishness. It will be horribly embarrassing to them when they see how they have behaved. If they all make it to day 40 remember that it was by eating food they did not catch. Alana, you are a horrible person and you have done absolutely nothing of merit for your group. You said it well when you stated to Shane, “Survival is Lazy!” Well thanks to hard working people around you your survival certainly was.
Hate Alana. Shes a bitch douche. She talks crap about. The large time are all assholes.
I wish I could see nappy heads, Chris, Alana, And the other 3 girls faces when they come out of the bush thinking their an all powerful tribe. The tribe that awaits you when you get out of the bush is much bigger than you….the united states of America tribe….and guess what!!! We don’t like you!
The entire tribe with the useless girls and useless guys make me sick. Truly is like watching teenagers in school. Even nappy head and the other dude just look ridiculous compared to ej and Jeff. I knew Jeff was going to feed them..”again”… can’t feed yourself you should tap out instead of riding the coat tails of other tribes. That whole tribe would be tapping out if it were not for Jeff and ej. Danny really wished you stayed The 40 days but you could have done better by yourself. They really have nothing of value to offer. Let them split up your cricket between themselves!…lol. I knew Jeff was going to feed those useless arses but wished he made them wait a little longer. Can’t believe they were so cowardly when ej was standing over them watching them eat wray. They could have said something like “we would really like to share this with you ej but we are starving and just can’t” instead they all said nothing and stared at the ground like cowards. Teenage girls and boys. Watch Jeff and ej you cowards…show you how to survive with integrity.
Alana is a complete wretched mean girl and completely full of herself and something else brown in color. That whole group stinks, they were given eel twice and did not reciprocate to offer up stingray. EJ and Jeff offered that sorry bunch of losers food twice snd they took it and jammed it down their sorry gullets. That Chris is another one that is a vile and sorry jackass. They are all, except for EJ and Jeff snd Dany Julien nasty and selfish savages.
Exactly, but Thank goodness Ej team even after being literally shocked by eels shared! All the petty women & men on the other group do is judge Dani?! Ugh petty & clearly none of the other team are bringing anything to the table!
I’m not a producer of a reality show but for rating purposes Horona was a come back to the show because of her mouth and being unstable. She doesn’t have any survival or human skills.I’m really disappointed at Dani and Laura. I feel like they need to step up and be the great female survivalist they are
Sharing or not sharing is not producing….Chris had the nerve to tell Dani she’s not helping when EJ & Jeff are the only hunters? That’s people not production.
Tonight I saw Shane tap out. I was so upset. Alana is such a bitch and full of herself. My hope is that before the show ends that she has to tap out too. We are planing a hate her party when she does. I watched Jeff hunt both ells and give the whole teams the protein that was needed. Not Alana or the over the top passive Matt or I really don’t know what I’m doing Chris. I feel the the team of 5 has now gotten 2 meals from EJ and Jeff and thats 1 meal to many. Leave EJ and Jeff alone. Do your own hunting and see how that is. Shane my man, you who you are and Alana has to learn to shut her nasty mouth
I agree with you! Those in that larger group completely stink, They are being fed by Jeff and doing nothing to help for it. That Laura has been a basic no show and that Danielle is a mesly mouth that lives off of the efforts of others. Chris is a loud and arrogant jackass. Chris and Alana deserve each other.
Really don’t know why they even chose to set up camp so near to team Ej,Jeff or why the witch Alana and Danielle could not go on their own on some other part of the lake,( well maybe it was easier to film that way) but that lake was pretty huge for the groups to have stayed away from each other but we gotta have the ‘drama’ in reality shows, aaah those sneaky producer’s.. 🙂 all about $$
I agree
I dispise Alana! She is obsessed with Shane and has an unhealthy fixation on bashing the only person that did anything for the survival of the team. I didn’t see her or Danielle move a muscle for weeks and then Shane let them have the first shelter he built when he left. No wonder dude ran out of energy! Everyone keeps talking smack about Shane but he was a nice, hard working guy with the patience of Job dealing with the laziest little girls to ever appear on the show. Had he never commented on his past, I think people would not have judged him the way they have. Good job Shane keeping your ish together as long as you did around those lazy bi$&&&(!!!
Alana and Danielle are completed POS’s. Neither of these two have any class or self respect. Seriously they are like watching two middle school girls fighting over who is better. Worthless!
Yes, everyone can agree that Alana and Danielle are two bitches, but editing can cast a favorable or unfavorable impression. Keep that in mind. I do not like either one of the two women and I use the word “women” loosely here to describe these two ill mannered girls. Enough about them, Honora is a first class nut case. How in the world did those two spineless whimps let her get away with her actions? After throwing Luke’s knife and then the water bottle in the river, I would have thrown her butt in after the items. Then to add injury to insult, they let her keep the machete. As there been any follow up on the crazy one?
Danielle is a sweetheart. Alana is the real bitch. That being said, I can understand that they were very off-put by Shane basically saying he was a psycho and would have been institutionalized if it were up to other ppl. They gave him cold shoulder from then on which would piss anybody off. But him telling other ppl he’s crazy was kind of shooting himself in the foot. Was unfortunate.
Also, where Honora is concerned, she’s got poor communication ability and a big ego/hard head, so when things go bad she throws a fit and snaps on her partner(s). They should not have asked her to come back after her first time. As soon as I saw she got teamed up with Chris, I felt bad for her b/c I would have put money down, at that point, that he was going to be his typical asshole self and disrespect her and push her out, and that’s exactly what happened. As to throwing her in after the items, they were on camera on national tv. Can’t legally lay on someone without serious consequences.
lol I said “Can’t legally lay on someone…”. Mean lay a hand on someone.
Why did these two lazy chicks get on this show with no survival skills but their mouths lol?
Alana complains that Shane is trying to be agreeable even though that is not what he really wants to do. Wake up Alana! That is called being patient and trying to be a team player. Why don’t you meet him halfway. I didn’t see you trying to climb a tree to help Danielle.
And Danielle, why don’t you try saying thank you, when someone goes the extra mile for you.
If it hasn’t happened already, I predict that Alana and Danielle will both have marriages that end in divorce or will never find partners that will put up with them for more than a few dates.
Shane’s a great guy who says he craves the attention of a female. I’ll bet 40 days with these two selfish bitches will change that sentiment.
Alana is a class a bitch is right, she hates men and only can degrade people to feel important and nag nag nag. She thinks she’s better then everyone and is far from being a team player. She complains that no one works with her but she only wants it her way or no other way. No one wants to be with her but weak people.
Ashley is a nut case hypochondriac. Ashley would do good with Alana.
Ugh you are so right they are both nasty bitches and I can hardly stand to watch it.
She’s (Alana) nasty alright…never trust a redhead! And her side-kick chic wanna-be EMT isn’t any better… glad they lost major points…felt bad for Shane. The other group of women…far superior, mellow and knowledgeable.
Alana is a grade A bitch ! Danielle is not far behind. Shane I feel sorry for you man. I know you have your own issues, but these girls didn’t help much and weren’t thankful for sh!t ! Without you, I don’t think they would have lasted to day 20. Alana comes off as a disgusting person. No thanks!