RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8 episode 9 recap: Who made the top 3?

The only real purpose for RuPaul’s Drag Race season 8 episode 9 to exist is to answer one question. Who made it to the top 3?

There’s no real suspense as to what’s going to happen in the episode.

1. Michelle Visage will tell the girls about the music video challenge. Ok, so that one was different. This year Ru let the girls know.
2. The girls will have to showcase different looks for different parts of the video.
3. There will be at least one awkward element.
4. The girls will talk about how much they’ve learned over the season.
5. The girls will have to tell Ru why they deserve to be America’s Next Drag Superstar.
6. They will all have to lip synch for their lives.

What I wasn’t expecting this season was the return of “if you could say something to little whatever-your-boy-name-is, what would you say?” It’s so treacly, and this year all of the girls but Kim Chi have a pat, pleasant answer. Blech. Let’s scratch this element off the episode next year. Please?

Let’s start with #3 – an awkward element to the music video. This year, our intrepid drag queens had to lay down on a box with fabric underneath them. They’re floating, you see. It’s elegant. It’s dramatic. It makes Kim Chi fall down. Poor Kim Chi.

And now the only other thing really worth seeing in this episode are the looks from the video. Let’s see them! For each queen, you’ll see their avant-garde look and their final, not-sure-if-this-was-themed-look. I didn’t bother grabbing images of each girl’s “floaty” look. They were all pretty basic black. The floating was the point.

Bob decided avant-garde is her 80s makeup with an oversized button-down shirt dress. Okey dokey.

The eyes make it dramatic.

Not sure what’s avant-garde about this, but neither does Chi Chi. And to be fair, neither do I really. I usually watch Project Runway with my head cocked to the side like a puppy. Huh? The judges like that?

The many faces of Chi Chi.

Could be avant-garde I suppose. That fabric doesn’t breathe at all, which brings an element of uncomfortable realism. Well done!

The full shot was better.

Thank the good Lord above for feathers & Kim Chi for bringing real avant-garde.

I like the colors, but why it gotta be so shady?

And finally, for no apparent reason, Bianca shows up thinking it’s the winners photo shoot from the first episode.

Once the music video is in the can, we get the obligatory back to the workroom one last time, which means it may be the last time we see purse first.

Oh, who am I kidding. Purse-purse could win Miss Congeniality at this point.

Which brings us to the point we’ve all been waiting for. Who has made it into the top 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 8? Who gets cut from the music video that we haven’t even seen yet, but will likely see next week at some point when Logo runs Rolodex of Hate instead of a new Drag Race episode so we can drag this season out another week.

The top 3 are: Bob, Kim Chi and Naomi Smalls. It’s time to say goodbye to Chi Chi. And with that, it’s time to harass everyone on social media with your choice. Are you #teambob #teamNaomi or #teamkimchi? Tell us here & everywhere RuPaul lurks on the Internet!

And here’s Untucked!