Articles by Ryan Berenz

About Ryan Berenz

Member of the Television Critics Association. Charter member of the Ancient and Mystic Society of No Homers. Squire of the Ancient & Benevolent Order of the Lynx, Lodge 49, Long Beach, Calif. Costco Wholesale Gold Star Member since 2011.

ESPN's "E:60" Returns: Dara Torres, Randy Moss Racing And Lightning Lee Murray

August 8, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Cubicle QB In the midst of the Brett Favre madness and the Olympics, we’re just now reminded that new episodes of ESPN’s E:60 sports newsmagazine series are returning Tuesday, Aug. 12 at 7pm ET. E:60 is back for 14 straight weeks, airing each Tuesday until Nov. 11. Here’s what’s on the agenda for the Aug. 12 episode: Dara Torres — For over eight months, E:60 crew and correspondent Tom Farrey followed Olympic swimmer Dara Torres’ quest to make her fifth Olympic team at age 41. On May 6, E:60 profiled Torres as she trained for the U.S. Olympics […]

Hail Mary!: Danny Abramowicz To Host "Crossing The Goal" On EWTN

August 6, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Cubicle QB Longtime football fans remember Danny Abramowicz as the NFL’s receptions leader in 1969 and QB Archie Manning’s favorite target with the New Orleans Saints. I, however, remember Abramowicz from his days as a wide-eyed, excitable special teams coach for the Chicago Bears under Mike Ditka. Now I will remember Abramowicz mostly for the “spiritual fitness” show he’s going to host on global Catholic network EWTN: The show, called Crossing the Goal, was created in conjunction with the EWTN Global Catholic Network. Segments include “The Kickoff,” where the problem of the day is presented; “The Game Plan,” […]

"Hurl!" Here: Octopuke

August 4, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan The five contestants will chow down on broccoli and cauliflower in cheese sauce, then ride The Octopus. Let’s meet the five future congressmen competing today: Greg, a background actor and college student; Brian, an employee at skateboard shop; Theo, a UCLA physics student; Thomas, a construction worker and aspiring firefighter; and Jeff, a lifeguard. So the guys have five minutes to work on the 13 pounds of broccoli and cauliflower (it’s organic!) in cheese sauce (not so organic), washed down with milk (it’s organic!). Greg uses Technique #18: The Cattleprod, which really is nothing more than giving […]

"Highway 18" Quick Nine: The Swamp

July 31, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan 1. Keri Murphy Is Easily Amused. I interviewed host Keri Murphy about Highway 18, and she really played up this episode and its swamp challenge. “They came out to the swamp — it’s full of gators — and they think that they’re going to have to do some sort of golf challenge. But really, they just had to find their way back,” Murphy says. “Getting them out of the swamp was pretty hilarious.” Now, having seen this episode, the “swamp” looks more like a park that had a gator in it somewhere. And the teams just followed […]

"Hurl!" Here: NASA NAuSeA

July 28, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan So Hurl! hasn’t quite proved to be the pukefest we were all anticipating. Maybe the tide (and the stomach) will turn with the latest installment, “NASA NAuSeA.” I get kind of nauseous just looking at that title. The contestants will each put away chicken pot pie and then take a whirl in Human Gyroscopes. Let’s meet the five enterprising Angelenos who showed up just for the free meal: Jon, a hotel concierge; Mike, a freelance production coordinator/former Marine combat swim instructor; Justin, an insurance auto appraiser; Dominik, a student/aspiring stuntman; and Tremaine, a standup comedian. After some […]

"Highway 18" Quick Nine: The Journey Begins

July 23, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan We’re ready to tee off our recaps of GOLF CHANNEL’s Highway 18 reality competition series. Following each episode of the series, we’re going to give you nine highlights, observations, predictions or snarky comments. We’re going to go out on a limb here and assume that if you’re checking out our blog here, you’ve already seen the episode and don’t need shot-by-shot recaps. Oh yeah, there will be spoilers, so you’ve been warned. Before hitting the Quick Nine on the premiere episode, aptly titled “The Journey Begins,” we’ll introduce the contestants:

"Hurl!" Here: Flamethrowupper

July 21, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan So, come back for more Hurl!, have you? You sicko. Let’s meet the contestants for the second installment, “Flamethrowupper”: Chris, a cable guy; Bob, a waiter/musician; Logan, a window washer; Duy, a beach bar host; and Ryan, a college student and pizza delivery man. These guys will face seven pounds of cream of spinach soup. But apparently, no one really told anyone about the rules (Rules? What rules?), because Chris just dives into the soup hands-first before the clock even starts. Relax, Chris, you’ll have plenty of time to make an ass out of yourself. The contestants […]

"Hurl!" Here: Balls Of Hurl

July 16, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan The Washington Post calls it “one more sign of the decline of Western civilization” and “for people who found Fear Factor much too nuanced and intellectually complex.” Damn straight I’m watching it. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to Hurl! G4, the network for prepubescent boys and 30-year-olds who still think like prepubescent boys, starts off the series with the episode “Balls of Hurl.” Tonight’s episode features five contestants eating loads of mac ‘n’ cheese, and then getting strapped in for a dizzying roll inside big cage Balls of Hurl. Let’s meet the contestants. As you’d expect, they’re all […]

I Think I'm Gonna Blog "Hurl!"

July 10, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan Not disgusted enough by the gastronomical excesses of competitive eating contests? Then see if you’ve got the stomach to handle G4’s new reality competition series Hurl! This half-hour series, premiering July 15 at 9pm ET, has all the gluttony of your standard speed-eating contest, but adds a twist. Following their fill-up with food, the engorged contestants have to do a challenge designed to test the very limits of the human esophagus — carnival rides, bungee jumping, high diving, mechanical bull-riding or anything else that will get them green about the gills. The last one to lose his […]

The Road Begins: GOLF CHANNEL's "Highway 18"

July 7, 2008 Ryan Berenz

Posted by Ryan Anyone who’s played golf knows that it’s a stressful game. But a typical round doesn’t also include a road race, tough trivia questions, getting dropped off in a swamp and having eight people trying to get you kicked off the course. GOLF CHANNEL’s new 10-episode reality competition series Highway 18, premiering July 22 at 10pm ET, puts five teams of two golfers on the ultimate road rally through Florida, as they face golf challenges both on and off the course to stave off elimination and be the last team standing. “There’s a race element to it, there’s […]