American Idol

Can I say how much I hate the intro of the judges coming out of the screen? I mean, really. The show is long enough. We know who the judges are. None of them look like they want to do the stage walk. Can we cut it now? Please? Then we have to do a stupid St. Patty’s Day theme. Then we get info on the Grand Old Opry and Randy Travis. He seems like a nice guy, even if he does have an incredibly huge head. Michael Sarver — Ain’t Going Down Till The Sun Goes Up by Garth […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet American Idol gets the ‘surprise rule’ right out of the way. The judges will get to give a contestant a second chance. But they only get to do it once before the Top 5. Get to the Top 5 and you’re screwed, kid. No one’s saving you then. We get treated to seeing the sweet mansion the Top 13 get to call home during their time in the competition. What recession? This place has an indoor AND an outdoor pool among seas of marble & chandeliers. And a bowling alley. Please tell me this house was […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet This week, it’s Michael Jackson week. We are enlightened about the influence of Michael Jackson through a video montage. This video montage apparently stops in the late ’80s. Really, why dwell on the baby-dangling? American Idol keeps up with the surprises. Tomorrow, two contestants will be sent packing, bring the American Idol season back in line with having 12 contestants. Paula has decided to go puffy Gelfling this week. Kara is channeling Bette Porter. Lil Rounds — The Way You Make Me Feel Lil’s got 1 thing to worry about — becoming LaToya London. Talented, consistent, […]

Jessie Langseth — Tell Me Somethin’ Good by Rufus and Chaka Khan I will forever associate this song with That ’70s Show where Eric catches his parents in a ‘delicate situation.’ I like her voice, but it’s not the best. For some reason the camera guy keeps focusing on her hippie parents. Randy & Kara call her on being pitchy. Paula loves her. Simon’s glad they picked her & she’s a lot better since last time, although indulgent. By the way, in HD that girl’s got great skin. It’s pretty sick. Matt Giraud — Who’s Loving You by The Jackson […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet For some reason Katy Perry’s Hot And Cold is selected as a group sing. Yeah, in what universe does a Katy Perry song ever become a group number? In the American Idol universe, that’s where! The choreography involves a lot of sitting for the guys, and walking to couches for the girls. It ends with a chipper ‘Hot And Your Cold!’ Up with People! And I’ll admit it right now, I bet the whole group was like ‘Yes! Scott’s in our section! Sweet, we’re going to get easy choreography!’ Ok, I would be thinking that if […]

First off, my apologies for missing last week’s episodes. I’m directing and stage managing a show here and we opened last week. I did, however, get to catch Normund Gentile. Fabulous. Shame on you, America, for not putting him through. So now on to this week’s performances. Von Smith — You’re All I Need To Get By by Marvin Gaye In the death slot is Von Smith, a.k.a. Screamy McScreamy. In his ‘package’ he discusses the screaming label and how he doesn’t want to be that screaming guy. Ok, Von, prove it. And he actually does. Von tones down the […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet Group number! It’s a super cheesy rendition of “I’m Yours!” Jackie is a spaz. Casey keeps trying to elbow Tatiana out of the frame. It ends with the outstretched hand reaching to the sky. Craptacular! Most of the show is taken up by crappy Ryan torture/filler – asking the contestants how they did, asking the judges how the contestants did, looking at family members to see how their kid did. Casey and Stephen get the boot pretty quickly. Alexis shouldn’t have worn a hat. We can’t see her face at all. She makes it into the […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet Jackie Tohn – A Little Less Conversation What. The. Hell. Jackie selects an outfit that was ugly in 1985, and it’s still ugly today. I can hear Stacey London in my head screaming about the skin-tight leggings and high top shoes. Jackie looks like a cross between Minnie Mouse and Janet Jackson in her Rhythm Nation years. I’m also hearing my co-worker Bex muttering about punching her in the throat. Of the judges, Simon speaks the truth. He doesn’t think America is going to like her. I see it two ways – either she’ll do well […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet We’re finally getting to the end of the American Idol audition process, and it’s none too soon because, is it just me, or has this season been a bit boring? Maybe it’s because I was expecting more of a shakeup in the format of the show than I actually got. Tuesday we get rehashes of people we’ve met before. Which I suppose is a nice thing, since I can remember in seasons past being introduced to contestants in the first round, only to have them fall off the face of the earth during Hollywood week. This […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet Hollywood week is about the meltdowns. Ah, the meltdowns. Folks who felt good about their abilities now completely break down in the presence of others who are just as confident about their abilities. And seeing Paula Abdul in bondage wear with the chains from her neck to her wrists. Except for that Norman guy. I mean Nick. He’s the wild & crazy guy who can actually sing. And he actually makes it through to round two. All right, American Idol. I’m game. Let’s see where you take this one. Bikini Girl is finally up. Man, I […]