American Idol

by Ruth Anne Boulet We visit 4 cities this week, and to me one contestant stands out. He stands out because he claims he can live without physics. I’m here to tell you, George, that in fact, you cannot live without physics. Seriously. Don’t believe me? Then read the words of my American Idol, Neil deGrasse Tyson. See? No physics = no people = no American Idol. Physics comes first, George. Physics comes first. If the laws of physics stopped applying, we may all fly off into space & have our heads blow up like Homer & Bart Simpson when […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet This week’s auditions take our intrepid American Idol team to San Francisco, CA and Louisville, KY. One city known for its uniqueness; another for a 2-minute horse race & big hats. These locations should bring a nice blend of crazies and talent. Why is a girl with the psychotic laugh from Puerto Rico auditioning in San Francisco? Tatiana wants it more than anyone has ever wanted it. Ever. She brought the judges a ‘gift’ of her press kit. She actually sounds ok. I expected her to be horrendous. Simon, though, hates her and she replies by […]

by Ruth Anne Boulet (aka WindUpDoll, aka Sexual Chai) First off, let me apologize for my tardiness. In a vain attempt to salvage my sanity, I’ve decided to consolidate my Idol blogging to once a week. So don’t despair — I’m still here, and still watching Idol. I would also like to apologize for the lack of videos in this blog. I don’t know if American Idol has come down on folks uploading videos to YouTube or what, but there’s a definite lack of clips from the shows on the Interwebs. I hope that changes as the season goes on. […]

Several sources, including that bastion of entertainment news TMZ, is reporting that American Idol newly crowned winner David Cook is dating Season 2 not-winner Kimberly Caldwell.

Ryan tells us that 97 1/2 million votes came in for American Idol’s Davids last night. Apparently that smashes the previous record by 20 million votes. First we go to Mikalah Gordon in Kansas City. She tells me that David Cook rocks. Then we go to Utah and Matt ‘Queso’ Rogers. He’s surrounded by a bunch of blond girls who start an ‘Archuleta’ cheer. Squeal! Then we move into the first Top 12 group number of the evening. First the contestants from that other Fox show, So You Think You Can Dance, do a rockin’ routine & show the Idols […]

I have a feeling we’ll have a bit of filler this time. We’re only getting 6 songs, so we’ve got to pad the hour somehow. We start cheesily with the Rocky theme and the dude who calls boxing matches, Michael Buffer. You know, the ‘let’s get ready to rumble’ guy. Or should I say, ruuuuuummmmmmmbbbbbbbblllllllllleeeeeee! We’re live from the really big Nokia Theatre and we learn that David Cook weighs 180 pounds. David Archuleta is described as being 100 pounds soaking wet. For some reason Ryan gives up his ‘This is American Idol!’ responsibilities for tonight. Under Buffer’s tutelage, it […]

But doing that justice doesn’t mean he gets invited to the big finale! He did make the Top 24. C’mon Idol! Invite the other Top 24 kids! In other American Idol Finale News: Here’s audio of Nigel Lythgoe on Ryan Seacrest Yes, there is going to be another Celine/Elvis debacle, ’cause that was a good idea the first time.  He’s also saying that the ‘biggest star in the world’ will be on the show.

What is with Ryan not shaving? Does he have a bigger job that he has to look better for? Like being a DJ? Ryan can’t stop talking about Paula’s girls that are spilling out of her dress. Cheesy group number comes belching out of the American Idol stage! The Top 3 are doing ‘Ain’t No Stopping Us Now.’ Kathy remembers that Clay and Ruben did this number in their finale show. The Idols are doing a jazz square kids! They’re not doing it well. David A is rockin’ a white Members Only Jacket. Ok, I don’t think it’s REALLY a […]

American Idol producers have to fit 9 songs in a 1 hour-ish show. I’m totally appreciating the fact that this means there’s a minimal amount of filler in the show. Love that — keep things moving, Idol! Ryan tells us that one of our contestants is on the brink of superstardom and gives an especially enthusiastic ‘This is American Idol!’ Even Ryan’s excited about tonight. He’s shoving the stage doors open. I don’t know if he’s trying to be funny or if it’s really broken. Marilu Henner is in the audience. Not quite sure if she’s promoting anything or just […]