Lifetime

So we’ve reached the midterm of Dance Moms Season 3, Dance Moms nation. Everybody ready for a couple of reunion shows and a dab of a spring break before we have back at it come summer? But first we have two hours of midseason finale to get our tanks on “full” and get us through, so let’s get to it. While Abby’s taking stock of what numbers we have to get crackin’ on now that The View is behind us, Kelly actually asks her permission to take the solo-less Brooke to see a music manager. Abby says she’ll think about […]

As we open this week’s episode, Dance Moms nation, the Pitt Crew is setting up shop at Stepping Out Studios in New York City. Because not only are we all going to appear on The View, but we’re also attending a competition while we’re out here. The Masters of Dance competition. Our first time ever. It’s basically another in10sity Dance thing — in Bernardsville, New Jersey, not the Big Apple proper — so we’re hardly new to the setup, but whatever. We’re going. And so are Cathy and the Lad Apples. This is hardly a surprise. The pyramid has a […]

Abby’s got her cranky pants on again as we launch this week’s Dance Moms — in large part because the Dance About Democracy finished No. this in last week’s competition: And that don’t mean peace, boys and girls. Plus, not only are we getting beat by Cathy’s scab-a-rific imported Apples, we’re getting beat by, like, nobodies now. And this has got to change. Pyramid time. Mackie is bottom of the bottom because she didn’t dance. Then Paige. Abby — with a completely straight face — says Paige did a disservice to her country by holding the flag upside down in […]

After last week’s Dance Moms debacle against Cathy and the Lad Apples, the only thing Abby is impressed with this week is how Asia and Kristie were the first to show up for practice. After that, she wants to know how four strangers, taught by some dude they never met, still managed to tell a story via dance better than her own yahoos who have performed together since forever. Let’s take our rage to the pyramid. Bottom of the bottom is Mackie, by virtue of her injury. Then Brooke, who never works hard enough. Then Chloe, who shoulders the most […]