By Ryan
Leslie’s having a problem with shipments of expired milk being delivered to the Greens & Grains, and he goes off on a tirade against milkmen. But unbeknownst to Leslie, milkman Nathan is behind the dairy case, and he overhears Leslie’s fightin’ words. Leslie tells Nathan that he refuses to pay for milk, and so begins the war between the G&G and the powerful Dairy Consortium. Leslie starts fearing for his life when some mysterious mold-ridden cheese ends up in his sandwich and a shelf full of feminine hygiene products collapses on him. He holes up in his bedroom for two weeks, until finally Carl and Richard come to get him. As they’re driving back to the G&G, Nathan the milkman follows them, running the G&G truck into a tree and then into a ravine. Richard’s neck is messed up, Carl’s clavicle is broken (he’s just going to see how the bone fuses on its own) and Leslie has never felt better.
Buck says he has inside knowledge about the Dairy Consortium he learned by getting carnal knowledge from a SuperValueMart employee. The Consortium is controlled by SuperValueMart, and they’re working together to fix prices and push out the little grocery stores. Leslie goes to the SuperValueMart to try and uncover the conspiracy, and Mercy Jones has no reservations about revealing the whole scheme. SuperValueMart controls the Dairy Consortium, and a whole lot more. Milkman Nathan finds that Leslie is wearing a wire. Only it’s not a wire, it’s a tape recorder. Nathan destroys the tape, and Leslie is helpless and defeated, sitting in the corner talking with his belly button.
Fortunately, deus ex machina is even more powerful than the Dairy Consortium. Leslie discovers some budget surplus that lets him pay kickbacks to the Dairy Consortium and have the G&G’s truck fixed. He also discovers that the G&G is spending a fortune for floral delivery, and he cancels his orders with the florists. Turns out the florists are more powerful than the Dairy Consortium, and they blow up Leslie’s delivery truck.
Employee of the Week: Buck. Amazing what one can learn during sex with random SuperValueMart employees.
This Week’s Special: Did Leslie say, “The Greens & Grains is my taint”?
Disturbing Details About Leslie: Leslie hasn’t made many changes to his deceased parents’ house. His father’s pills are still on the nightstand. He wears his father’s bathrobe and uses his father’s toothbrush. And he may wear his mother’s intimates … we’re not entirely sure.
