Reality TV

by WindUpDoll We’re down to the final 164 on American Idol. Thankfully we won’t get to meet all of them. Ryan Seacrest just promised me a ‘brand new Hollywood week.’ As you can probably tell, I’ll believe that when I see it. Contestants are up on stage, getting slapped to reality that most folks aren’t making it through. Apparently some folks are getting to perform once & get a pass to the end of the week. The rest are getting 2nd and 3rd chances. No one is getting cut until day 3. I’m hoping they don’t make me wait until […]

by WindUpDoll Supposedly we haven’t yet seen the best, or worst, auditions. American Idol has been saving them for last. And since we’ve all been good boys & girls, we get to see them now. First up is a duo of bad: Casper the Crazy Ghost and Goat-Bleating Boy. One’s a huge white guy in a very white, very large T-shirt. The other is an average ethnic-looking guy. They’re both weird, and probably delusional. Then we get one of the good singers, Amy. She’s ok to me, as far as the singing goes, but she looks cuter than her voice […]

No, we’re not done with auditions. It seems like we should be, doesn’t it? This episode, we’re in Atlanta, Ryan’s hometown, so of course Mom & Dad come to visit. I’m hoping I only hear Hotlanta once. Once. First up is Joshua, a guy who works with glass and gets a slightly demonic look in his eyes as he sings. The judges go so far as to have him turn his back to them. He makes it through to Hollywood, but he’s one of those contestants that’s what I like to call the ‘load lightener.’ You know them — they’re […]

by WindUpDoll Can they spare me the Miami Vice theme song intro for this episode? Am I mad at myself that I didn’t see that coming? The answer is yes — and this is — American Idol. Oh, and now it’s that crappy Miami Sound Machine song. I can’t STAND that song. The rhythm is NOT going to get me, Gloria Estefan. It’s just not. Simon calls Paula’s dress very slutty. As usual, he’s correct. Our first contestant is a champion burper. Yes, it’s a girl. And she’s following the Miami Vice/’80s theme for tonight with a teal off-the-shoulder number. […]

by WindUpDoll This episode focuses in on the corn. We’re in the Heartland of Omaha, Nebraska this week, so naturally everyone grows corn, eats corn & lives corn. As someone who lives in the Midwest, I can tell you that there’s more than corn & cows in The Heartland. There’s beer. First up is a guy who’s been waiting to audition for the last 7 seasons. He’s so happy that he feels like he’s going explode & happiness is going to go flying everywhere. He’s so awesomely excited & nasally in his speaking voice that you just know he’s going […]