Dance Moms

Couple things right out of the gate, Dance Moms nation. Today’s recap will be screen-capture-free, because the events of its last twenty minutes are currently a matter of litigation in the New York City courts, so no press screeners were made available. So much the better if you ask me. There’s not much that happened this evening that I’d care to commemorate in pictures or in words. In light of the weekend’s news of Maryen Lorrain Miller’s death, I was really hoping we might have something, anything I could write positively about — even though I knew better from the […]

Welcome back, Dance Moms nation. Did everyone have a nice week? Did everyone recover from the delicious emotional overload that was At Last? Did everyone see my near miss at a job offer in the comments section of last week’s blog? (Psssst, Abs, if that actually was you, have your people call my people about the sequel. Just give me a couple minutes to, you know, get some people.) • RELATED: Abby Lee Miller loses mom Maryen Lorrain Miller to cancer On with the show. We start out in the studio, where Abby’s got a little mall-bang thing going on […]

Let me just get this out of the way right now, Dance Moms Nation, since I have been doing a horrible job of keeping you current on all of the legal crap between Abby and Kelly (because I could not care less about all of the legal crap between Abby and Kelly). I actually did inquire into Abby’s reported engagement — because I think Dance Moms Wedding Special would breathe some kind of new life right into me where Dance Moms is concerned. OK, so I actually asked the show’s saintly publicist Theresa if she had, you know, any bridesmaid […]

Hi, honeys! I’m home! No idea what I missed in last week’s actual Dance Moms episode — but it looks like maybe a new opener and Payton landing herself on crutches are top of the heap? Looks like we were also the overall high-scoring group, but outside of that, things were no good. As in “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye” not good, according to Abby. Someone lost an eye?! Maybe I need to watch after all, because Abby doesn’t explain. Or you guys could tell me what happened in the comments section below. That would […]

Welcome back, Dance Moms nation. You all sure had a lot to say about the crab-assery that was the Season 4 premiere! Speaking of which, a very bouffant-y Abby wastes no time in reminding the assembled Pitt Crew that one day they were national champions, the next, third-place nothings. Makes her want to replace the whole team. This week, it will be first place or else. Especially since we’re heading off to the land of the Apples — Columbus, Ohio — to the Believe Talent competition. And she’s sure that Cathy’s been working for weeks on a winning routine. Let’s […]